Home

Bzzzzzz.

Trixie hit the alarm and turned over. She was just about to go back to sleep when she remembered why she needed to get up. Dan was coming to pick her up in thirty minutes. She jumped out of bed and dashed over to the bathroom to get a shower.

Twenty-five minutes later, she was dressed in boots, jeans and an oversized knit sweater. Her red wool jacket was thrown across the back of a chair and she was stuffing the last of her things into an overnight bag. She had debated what to take to wear to dinner and decided to pack her good black slacks and blue silk blouse. That would look okay in Wimpys or a four-star restaurant.

Just as she was wondering whether she should wait downstairs the buzzer sounded.

"Yes?"

"Hey Trixie. I'm double-parked. Can you manage?"

"Of course...I'll be right down."

Trixie hurriedly grabbed her things, checked in her purse, and after one quick look around the room closed the door and locked it. She ran down the stairs and out onto the street. Dan was just pulling into a space about two buildings up the block so she ran towards his car. He popped the small trunk and got out to help her. As Trixie put her things into the trunk, Dan surprised her by pulling her into a tight hug and kissing her firmly on the lips. Trixie laughed.

"You're the happy one, this afternoon."

"I'm spending the weekend with an incredibly beautiful woman whose company I enjoy. Why shouldn't I be?" Dan reached for her again, but Trixie turned without saying anything and went around to the passenger side of the car. Beautiful woman? No one ever called her that. She couldn't believe the words. Or how good they sounded. Dan closed the trunk and followed her. He held the door open as she climbed into the car and then closed it behind her. As Dan got in behind the wheel, Trixie was struggling to get her seat belt fastened. Dan reached down to help her. Once it was fastened Trixie looked up. Dan was grinning ear to ear and his eyes sparkled.

"Tha, it, the." She blubbered.

Dan took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. Trixie closed her eyes, thinking he was going to kiss her, but he spoke instead. "Thank you Trix." He offered hoarsely.

"Thank you?" She opened her eyes. His were barely inches way. "Thank you?" She repeated.

"Yes, for coming today."

"Well, let's get going Counselor." She pulled away. "There are some horses waiting."

Trixie and Dan spent the entire drive to Sleepyside in animated conversation. The weather was gorgeous and they were able to crack the windows and enjoy the fresh air for part of the trip. Dan laughed often. Trixie had forgotten how deep and resonate his laugh could be. It seemed to make the air vibrate and when he laughed it was impossible for her not to laugh also. Before they realized it, they were pulling in front of the Manor House Stables. As they got out of the car and grabbed their jackets from the trunk, Regan came across the driveway towards them.

"Hey!" Regan hugged Trixie and slapped Dan on the back. "I can't believe it...seeing you both again so soon!"

"I couldn't refuse Dan's offer to go riding. You know how much I love it, Regan. And it's been ages."

"The horses are here. All you need to do is ask, Trixie."

"Where are they Uncle Bill? We don't have much time before it gets dark."

"Follow me, and you do need to get back before it gets too dark. Some of the trails aren't as open as they used to be and it can be hard to see."

"Don't worry, Uncle Bill."

Regan led them to a fenced paddock area behind the stable where two horses were saddled and ready. Dan immediately went over to a large black horse and began patting and stroking him. "Do you remember HiJinx, Trix? I helped break him the summer before law school."

"I have Buttercup for you Trixie. She belongs to Mary and handles a lot like Susie did." Regan referred to a horse Trixie had ridden in high school.

Dan and Trixie immediately mounted the horses and made necessary adjustments to the stirrups. Regan walked over and opened the gate of the paddock area so they could ride out.

"Thanks, Uncle Bill."

"Thanks Regan. We won't be long."

Dan rode up a trail with Trixie just behind. They cantered along without talking for close to ten minutes, enjoying the sunshine, crisp fall air, and quiet countryside. At a fork in the trails, Dan stopped and allowed for Trixie to come beside him.

"Where to now, Trixie? Do you want to head towards the river or up through the old game preserve?"

"What would you prefer, Dan? Would you like to ride up to the cabin?" Dan hesitated a moment and then took the trail leading into the preserve and towards the cabin with Trixie riding along beside him.

When Dan first came to Sleepyside, his uncle lived in a tiny apartment over the Wheeler family's garage, too tiny for them both, so Dan had shared a nearby cabin with the Wheeler's Gamekeeper. It allowed Dan to earn spending money working as the Assistant Gamekeeper, while remaining close to his uncle. When Dan graduated high school, he and his uncle moved into a spacious apartment that was part of the newly-constructed Equistrian Center that his uncle now owned. However, Dan still considered the rustic cabin his home.

When they got to the clearing around the cabin, Dan stopped HiJinx and dismounted. He reached for Buttercup's reins and held them while Trixie dismounted.

Trixie started to ask a question, but Dan smiled and shook his head. Trixie realized he might need some quiet time so that he could deal with his memories and emotions. He tied the two horses to the railing of the cabin's porch and, fishing a key from his jeans pocket, he motioned for Trixie to follow him. He unlocked the cabin door and they both entered.

Trixie was surprised to see that the cabin was still furnished, although most of the upholstered furniture was covered with sheets. She looked around.

"Did you know this is mine now?" Dan asked her. She shook her head no.

"Mr. Maypenny left it to me. Said he trusted I'd take proper care of it." Dan looked around. "I can't decide whether to donate it to the county or keep it. I don't really have any use for it right now, but I guess I'm not as altruistic as I'd like to believe. Can't seem to part with it."

"You'll do what's right...for you."

Dan suddenly realized that Trixie was one of the few people who could understand his attachment to the rustic cabin. It was really the only home he'd ever known after his father died, and it had provided a sanctuary at the worst time in his life. "I wanted to get something." He said as he climbed up to his old room in the loft. "Wait here."

Trixie could hear his boots thumping across the wooden floors upstairs. She wondered what he was doing. Finally his long legs appeared on the steps. He lowered himself through the loft access, smiling broadly. He was obviously pleased about something. He jumped to the floor below and handed Trixie an old photograph. Remnants of a blue ribbon and dried baby's breath were stuck into the plastic frame. It was a picture of Trixie and Dan at her Senior Prom. They were both grinning broadly although Dan was clearly uncomfortable in his rented tuxedo and Trixie looked unnatural in a gown with large puffy off-the-shoulder sleeves, tight bodice and long, full skirt. Trixie laughed out loud.

"Weren't we the picture of sophistication? I look like a football player and..."

"One of the best times of my life, Trix."

"Really?" Trixie laughed and looked up at Dan. He was smiling, but his eyes seemed to look straight into her. "Really?" she spoke barely above a whisper this time.

Dan nodded. "Why do you think I kept the picture?"

"I still have mine."

"You do?"

"It's on the bookcase in my room. At the farm."

Dan grinned broadly. He hadn't realized Trixie kept the picture displayed. Perhaps that night HAD meant as much to her as it had to him. He stared at Trixie for a few moments before laughing out loud. It was a laugh of true happiness. "Are we making a mistake?"

"You mean risking a friendship?" Trixie shook her head. "It's a risk I want to take."

Dan pulled her to him and kissed her. She put both arms around his neck and molded her body into his. "Trix, I."

"Ssh." Trixie hushed him as she kissed him back.

x x x

Regan was in his office checking supply invoices when he heard Dan and Trixie come into the stable. He started to get up. He could hear them laughing and talking excitedly. It seemed ages since he'd heard Trixie's melodic laugh and even longer since he'd heard Dan laugh the way he was now. It sounded good. Really good. He decided to remain where he was and enjoy the happy sounds.

"Ugh. I forgot how much work riding could be." Trixie moaned as she led Buttercup into a stall. They had finished grooming the horses and were cleaning up.

"Better not let Uncle Bill hear you say that." Dan nodded towards the door into the office.

"I'm not complaining. I'm just." Trixie placed her hands on her hips and pretended to pout.

"You're complaining Ms. Belden." Dan shook his head as he led HiJinx towards a stall.

"I am not!" Trixie stomped her foot in feigned anger and then, on impulse, threw hay from an empty stall onto Dan as he latched the gate to HiJinxes stall. "I am NOT complaining."

"I know that whine." Dan started to move towards Trixie.

"Whine?" Trixie threw more hay. "I don't whine!" Trixie was laughing now.

"Come here, WHINER!" Dan stepped closer towards her.

Trixie threw more hay at him. "No! I am not a whiner. And I wan't complaining. I expect you to apolo..."

Dan grabbed her and pushed her into the pile of hay. He began tossing hay onto her as she kicked and yelled, trying to get up. Suddenly he stopped and fell down on his knees beside her. He grabbed and kissed her. Trixie started giggling.

"So,I'm that funny?" He tried to kiss her again.

"No." Trixie giggled some more as she teasingly tried to pull away.

"What is it?"

"I was just thinking. Is this what they call a roll in the hay?" Trixie giggled some more.

Dan pulled her to him and rolled over on his back. Gripping her tightly with his arms and legs, he kissed her several times. He then rolled her over onto her back, kissed her once and got up. Brushing himself off, he cleared his throat and whispered hoarsely, "Now, Trix, THAT'S a roll in the hay!" He reached down to help her up; then pulled her to him. "And this..."

In his office, Regan noticed it suddenly get quiet. He smiled to himself, thankful he hadn't gone out into the stable.

A few minutes later Dan and Trixie came into the office. They both looked flushed, causing Regan to wonder how much was due to the cool air outside and how much to the activities inside. They had attempted to brush the hay off of their clothing, but some remained.

Regan looked up from his work. "Have a good ride?"

"Yeah, Uncle Bill. Can I use the phone? We'd like to get reservations for dinner.

"Go ahead." Regan raised one eyebrow as he looked over at Trixie, causing her to blush to the tips of her ears.

"We're going to try to go to the Riverside," Trixie mumbled.

"Nice."

Regan and Trixie stole silent glances at each other while Dan looked through the phone directory and called, each not sure what to say to the other. Regan didn't want to embarrass Trixie by letting on that he had heard them in the stable, but his silence made it clear to her that he had.

"Yes, for two," Dan spoke on the phone. "Yes." Dan placed his hand over the mouthpiece. "Trix, they can't take us at 8, is 7:30 okay?"

Trixie nodded agreement.

"Yes, that would be fine. Mangan, M-A-N-G-A-N. Good. Thank you." Dan hung up the phone.

Trixie looked at the clock on the wall. "Seven thirty? Oh Geez, I need to get home and get dressed!" She headed out the door calling back. "Thanks for everything Regan."

Dan grinned sheepishly at his uncle. "I'll be right back." He said as he followed Trixie out.

Regan watched them leave. He looked at the clock. 5:05. Since when did Trixie Belden need two hours to get dressed? He wondered as he shook his head.

x x x

Dan drove Trixie down to Crabapple Farm and carried her bag into the house. After speaking to her parents briefly and confirming that he would join them for Sunday dinner, he left so that he also could shower and change before returning at 7:00. Trixie found she did need the entire time remaining to get dressed, entertaining her parents with sounds of water running, doors slamming, and footsteps running around upstairs.

Mrs. Belden was preparing dinner for herself and her husband when Mr. Belden came into the kitchen.

"What the heck is going on up there?" He asked.

"Trixie is getting dressed." Mrs. Belden smiled to herself. It had been a long time since they'd had those kinds of date preparation sounds in the house.

"For what?" Mr. Belden looked up at the ceiling and shook his head in bewilderment.

SLAM!

"Her dinner date with Dan."

"She never used to act like that."

"She never had a date with Dan," Mrs. Belden responded knowingly.

Mr. Belden looked up at the ceiling again. Slam! Thump, thump, scrape, thump.

x x x

Dan showed up promptly at 7:00 p.m., wearing a black turtleneck sweater, black slacks and a gray blazer. The blazer had been a gift from Jen and he had hesitated wearing it, but he knew he looked good in it and he wanted to look his best for Trixie. He stood in the front hallway speaking politely with Trixie's parents when Trixie came rushing down the stairs. Her cheeks still were naturally flushed from the afternoon. Her cobalt blue silk blouse made her eyes appear larger and brighter than usual. She wore the same silver hair clip and necklace that she had worn to dinner the other weekend. Dan stared in awe at the woman who handed him her coat. He couldn't believe this was the same girl in boots and blue jeans he'd been riding with just a few hours earlier.

"Ah..." He swallowed noticeably as he took her coat. He found himself momentarily speechless. "Ah, ah, you look really nice, Trix," he finally spurt out. He held up the coat for her and helped her into it. He sighed loudly. "We, ah, need to hurry if we're to make our reservations."

He turned towards the Beldens. "It was nice seeing you again. Ah, I'll, ah, be here at 1:00 tomorrow."

Trixie buttoned up her coat. She could barely keep from laughing at Dan's awkwardness.

Trixie and Dan walked out to his car. He opened the door for her, but she didn't get in. She turned to him and kissed him. "You look and smell absolutely fabulous, Counselor."

"Trixie, your parents." Dan looked nervously back at the house.

"Yeah, they live here." She could barely contain the grin.

"They, ah, might see you. Ah. us."

Trixie pretended to be straightening Dan's jacket collar as she lightly brushed his cheek with her lips. "What if they did?" She kissed him quickly again and got into the car. Dan shut the door and ran around to the driver's side.

"Dan, you've been to my house thousands of times. You don't need to be so uncomfortable." Trixie said as Dan started up the car and turned around in the driveway.

"You don't get it, Trix."

"What?"

"It's. It's different Trix."

Trixie laughed despite her embarrassment. She got it all right. Crabapple Farm was like a second home to Dan. But until today, he had always been there as her and Mart's friend, another son to her parents. Tonight he was there to pick her up for a real date. She thought it was endearing that Dan was uncomfortable. She grabbed his hand and held it all the way to the restaurant.

x x x

It was well past midnight and the house was dark except for one small lamp when Trixie came in. She turned off the light and headed towards the stairs when her mother came out of the first floor bedroom. Mrs. Belden held her fingers to her lips and motioned for Trixie to follow her into the kitchen.

"Did you have a nice time tonight?" she asked Trixie as she turned on the light and headed towards the stove. "I couldn't get to sleep so I thought I'd have some Chamomile tea. Sit and join me."

Trixie noticed that her mother told her to join her and didn't ask, so she sat down at the kitchen table. Trixie watched as her mother filled the teakettle, placed it on a burner and got down cups and tea bags from the cupboard.

"How was the Riverview?"

"Great. Dinner was wonderful. We had a table looking out at the river and then we went into the club and danced. They get some great bands on the weekends." Of course, Trixie purposely failed to mention the stop on the way home at the bluffs overlooking the Hudson River. "Have you and Dad ever been there?"

"I like Dan," her mother said. "I'm really glad he's reconciled with his uncle and moved back to New York." She paused, waiting to see if Trixie responded.

"Me too."

Mrs. Belden sat down across from her daughter. She looked at Trixie inquisitively. In the Belden family there had never been any question how or from whom Trixie had gained her investigative instincts.

Trixie squirmed in her chair a little. She was well acquainted with that look.

"I noticed you both were, well, you were a little dirty when you came in this afternoon."

"We'd been riding." Trixie hoped her mother couldn't see that she was blushing. Unfortunately, she knew what her mother was insinuating.

"Mmmhuh."

Geez Moms, Trixie thought to herself. Do you ever miss anything?

"He looked very nice when he picked you up this evening." Mrs. Belden smiled, trying to gauge her daughter's reaction.

"Dan's a nice looking man." Trixie felt her face warming even more. She knew her mother couldn't fail to see her blushing now.

"He is. Trixie, I don't know if I said so earlier, but you looked nice, too." Trixie's mother cleared her throat. "You make a nice looking couple." She looked directly at her daughter and smiled, watching even more closely for a reaction.

"Did you, do you think so, Moms?" Trixie wasn't so much embarassed now as she was seeking confirmation.

Mrs. Belden nodded and waited.

"We've seen each other a few times in the City, you know."

"I thought so."

"I. He. I'm really enjoying myself with him, Moms."

"Mmmhuh."

Trixie sat and looked at her hands folded on the table. She looked up at her mother and her eyes widened. "I...I think he's really. You know, Moms?"

"Know what?"

"I, I think he's special. I'm thinking..." Trixie found it difficult to express her feelings in words. She was attracted to him. She was realizing that she always may have been. She wanted to know if she were falling in love. But wasn't sure how to express that, or if she should even be asking her mother about her feelings. "I think WE'RE special."

"Isn't it a little early in your relationship?"

"It is. Oh, it is! That's why I feel so confused. I've always liked and trusted Dan. In some ways he was as close a friend in high school as Honey was. And then he took off for Virginia and DC. But now he's returned and," Trixie swallowed hard. "We have always been close, able to communicate and understand each other in a really special way and that's the same. But now I, I see him differently. I feel differently and.."

Mrs. Belden had wanted to learn more about Trixie and Dan's budding relationship, but she was caught off guard by Trixie's sudden outpouring. She wasn't quite sure how to respond. The teakettle began to whistle, allowing her to get up, turn towards the stove and try to decide what to say next. As a teen, Dan had been like another son to her. But she'd always been concerned about his life before moving to Sleepyside and even more so about the circumstances that had strained his relationship with his uncle and friends. She wasn't sure if he were living the type of life she wanted for her only daughter. She poured hot water into the two cups and placed them on the table before sitting back down.

"Trixie, dear. I told you I've always thought highly of Dan. He came here angry, confused, alone. With nothing. And look at what he's accomplished. He's always been a good friend to you and Mart." Mrs. Belden took Trixie's hand. "I'm quite aware of how handsome he is. You have to be physically attracted to him." Trixie began blushing again.

"But I'm also concerned." Mrs. Belden still didn't know how to express her concerns. "Trixie, he's seen things and done things that you. That someone like you couldn't possibly understand. Before he moved here. And he's experienced in ways. He lived with another woman. I just don't want you to be so overwhelmed. So," Mrs. Belden hesitated, searching for the right words. "Attracted to him that you rush into anything. To do things you might regret."

Trixie pulled her hands away. "Moms! What are you insinuating?" Her mother didn't respond. "I'm a grown woman and I think I can judge what I want for myself. Yes, I'm attracted to him, but that doesn't mean I, we," Trixie was raising her voice now. "Dan's been nothing but a gentleman."

"I didn't say he wasn't. It's just...well, he's experienced. He lived with that other woman."

"I don't know how you can pass judgment on him for that!" Trixie's temper was taking control. "He's. What about Brian, your own son? At least Dan wasn't sleeping with one woman when he was engaged to another!" Trixie regretted the words as soon as she spoke them. Her mother had never known that Brian had overlapped his relationships; only that he dated and then moved in with Joyce AFTER he broke his engagement to Honey.

They both sat in silence. Trixie forced herself to calm down. "I'm sorry Moms. I..." She thought for a moment. "I know what Dan's done in the past. And I'm concerned about rushing into anything. We BOTH are and we've already discussed that. You have to trust me. I'm a big girl now and..."

"You are, Trixie. But that doesn't mean I don't worry about you, or care."

"You're just going to have to believe in me." Trixie said as she got up from the table. "And Dan!" She called out as she ran up the back stairs.

x x x

Trixie slept in late the next morning. She had planned to get up early and run before going to church with her parents, but she was just too deprived of sleep. And she did not relish facing her parents that morning.

On one level she understood her mother's concerns. She and Dan's relationship was changing fast, perhaps too fast. But it also wasn't like they didn't know each other. For years Dan had been her closest confidant other than Honey, and the strongest supporter of her dreams and desires. In high school, he had always encouraged her to pursue her investigations and believed in her intelligence and capabilities. Their friendship had grown especially close the year that Jim, Brian and Mart were away at school and Dan had remained at home to attend the Community College. And the night he filled in for Jim and took her to the prom was still the single most romantic evening in her life. She had been so enamored with Jim Frayne, she'd never seen Dan as anything but a friend. In retrospect, she realized how much the depth of their bond. While they had not been in close contact over the past few years, they had been pursuing similar careers, providing further strength to a potential relationship. Now it was as if they had rediscovered each other. As teens, they had discovered and nurtured an emotional bond. Now, they weren't dewy-eyed teen-agers any more, and it was natural that they were exploring a romantic relationship...and perhaps a physical one. Yes, Trixie convinced herself that they were justified to be moving at their current pace.

Or were they?

Trixie lay in bed until she heard her parents leave for church. She got up and went down to the kitchen. She checked to see what her mother had in the slow cooker and poured some coffee. Just as she sat down at the table and picked up the front section of the Times, the phone rang.

"Belden residence."

"Trixie! What are you doing there?"

"Mart!" Trixie welcomed the sound of her brother's voice. "Why are you calling now? Moms and Dad just left for church."

"Oh? I didn't even notice the time. I've been up for hours with Katie."

"Is she still on a whacked schedule?"

"It's a lot better than it was. She's sleeping through the night, but by 5:00 a.m., 6:00 a.m. if we're lucky, she's wide-awake and ready to play. I'm trying to let Di sleep in this morning."

"Why'd you call?"

"I just wanted to touch base. Let Moms and Dad know that things are okay and that Di signed the papers on her studio."

"Studio?"

"Duh, Trixie. The one we talked about the other weekend. Where she's going to work and..."

"Oh. Yeah. I almost forgot." Trixie scratched her head. "I'm sorry."

"Gee, Trixie. What planet have you been on recently?"

"NYPD rotating shifts. Major murder case. Total exhaustion. Need I say more?"

"Kinda' like life with a baby?"

"Only not as rewarding! Don't they have a term for it? Sleep deprivation or something?"

"Wrong brother. I'm not the medical doctor."

"Speaking of our esteemed older brother. I'm glad you called." Trixie took a paper napkin out of the basket on the table and absentmindedly started shredding it.

"What about Brian?"

"I kinda' blurted out to Moms last night about, well how he was sleeping with Joyce before he broke up with Honey."

"Oh. How did that happen?" Mart knew his sister and while she had improved with age, she was infamous for blurting things out that way.

Trixie wondered how much she should share with Mart. She needed to talk about it with someone, and who knew Dan and her better than Mart? "She was trying to warn me about men who live with women out of wedlock or something."

Silence.

"She's."

"I know, Trixie. She was talking about Dan. You and Dan."

"How do you know?"

"Trixie, it was so obvious the other week. When you two were. Umm. I saw what was going on between you. Di and Honey saw it. And Moms and Dad aren't blind or stupid. Frankly, he's had..." Mart caught himself. He didn't want to betray a confidence, even if it went back over a decade. "Trixie, don't let Moms get to you. We all love Dan and even if she's worried, I'm not. Well, maybe just a little." Mart laughed. "But I'd be worried about you and ANY man. I know that Dan's a good person who won't do anything intentionally to hurt you. I think you believe the same thing. From this distance, that's about all I can ask of him...or you."

"Thank you, Mart." Trixie felt overwhelming relief. Maybe someone in the Belden family trusted her judgment.

"And Dan knows you have three very big, overly protective, brothers."

"Mart!" They both laughed. Mart felt relieved that he had reassured his sister that he trusted her.

"Why ARE you in Sleepyside, Trixie?"

"Dan and I came up for the weekend. We went riding yesterday and out to the Riverview last night."

"Oooh." Mart said knowingly. "So this is becoming a regular thing? You and Dan every weekend?"

"No. Well. Sorta. Oh, hell. Yes, Mart...We've been seeing each other, but we're just dating. Don't start any rumors, please. I don't think either one of us has a clue where this will go."

"Don't worry about me, Trixie." Mart paused. He knew his sister well enough to hear what she wasn't saying over the phone. "Listen, we have lots to talk about. I have lots to share with you. Di needs your company. We need to make plans to get together. When are you and Dan getting back to Sleepyside?"

"Not anytime soon." Trixie knew her work schedule was too packed to travel out to the suburbs and she was taking vacation leave to go to Charlottesville the next weekend.

"Oh." Trixie could hear the disappointment in Mart's voice. She was anxious to visit with her brother.

"Wait. Do you think you and Di could stay here and maybe make it into the City for an afternoon or evening? Not next weekend, but maybe the weekend after or," Trixie wanted to avoid telling Mart why she wasn't available for two weeks.

"I don't know. Katie."

"Try, please Mart. Try. We can have dinner at my place. You, Di, me and Dan."

"Free food? Mmm...I'll see what we can do."

"Bring Katie,too. But if you don't want to bring her, Moms will watch Katie. I'm sure."

"I'll talk to Di. But I need to go now, Trix. Don't forget to tell Moms and Dad that I called."

"Okay, Mart."

"Take care, little sister." Mart never missed an opportunity to remind Trixie that he was eleven months older.

"You take care almost-twin." Trixie was just as eager to remind him that for one month each year they were the same age.

Trixie hung up the phone. She sat and stared at the floor wondering how the pile of shredded napkins got there.

x x x

Dan arrived promptly at 1:00 for dinner. Mrs. Belden let him in through the service porch and he offered her the flowers he'd purchased at Lytell's Store. He was surprised to find Mrs. Belden in the kitchen, Mr. Belden in his study, and Trixie no where to be found.

"Thank you Dan. They're lovely." She took them and placed them beside the sink. "I'm not sure where Trixie is." Mrs. Belden called up the back stairs. There was no answer. She looked at Dan with a puzzled expression. "She was here when we returned from church and I thought she went upstairs to shower. I haven't seen her since."

Just then, Trixie came in from the service porch, wearing sneakers and sweats and slightly out of breath. "Hey Dan. I lost track of time. I need to shower." She disappeared up the back stairs just as suddenly as she had appeared.

Dan chuckled quietly. What was that all about? He wondered. "Can I help with something?" he asked Mrs. Belden.

"The dishes and other things are on the dining room table. Would you mind setting the table?"

"Sure." Dan was thankful for an excuse to busy himself away from both of Trixie's parents. He went into the other room and started setting plates and flatware around the table. Mrs. Belden came in with the flowers in a vase and set it in the center of the table. She smiled sweetly at Dan without saying anything and returned to the kitchen.

"That feels better!" Trixe said as she came into the room. She hurried over and gave Dan a peck on the cheek. She was wearing jeans and a sweater. Her hair was still wet and she was bare footed. "I slept in but still needed to get some exercise so I took a late run."

Trixie took a napkin from him and folded it expertly. "Voila!" She set it beside a plate and folded the other three the same. Watching her, Dan realized that she was not as chipper as she was pretending to be.

"You okay?"

Trixie shrugged and set a napkin down with a flourish.

"Trix?" Dan whispered hoarsely. He was concerned by her mannerisms. He'd seen that stubborn set of her jaw before. She was clearly upset.

Mr. Belden then came from of his study. "Mmmm. Smells like dinner's almost ready. Hello again, Dan." He offered his hand. If he had any knowledge of Trixie's late night discussion with her mother, he didn't let on. But Trixie knew better. He had to have known why her mother was waiting up for her the prior evening.

They all three went into the kitchen. "Need help?" Mr. Belden asked.

"Just start carrying dishes out."

As always, Mrs. Belden had prepared a spectacular meal, serving pot roast with all the trimmings and apple pie for dessert. Dan conversed politely with both of Trixie's parents and had second servings of everything. There was no mistaking Trixie's discomfort and unusual quiet.

As they were all finishing their pie, Mr. Belden spoke directly to Dan. "So Dan, what do you foresee for your future? Do you plan to stay with the Manhattan DA indefinitely?"

Dan wiped his mouth and placed his napkin on the table. "I'm not certain, Mr. Belden. I do know that I'll never go back to another large private firm like the one in D.C. There was too much emphasis on earnings, charging time and not what I believe in--justice and the law. Right now, it looks like I'm at a great place to work with people who share my belief in our legal system." Dan rubbed his chin in a way Trixie had never seen before. "I think I could stay with the DA a long time and be satisfied. I'll never make the kind of money I could in private practice, but I'll never starve either. But," Dan was choosing his words carefully. "To be totally honest...what I really want, why I went to law school in the first place." Dan was a little uncomfortable in his admission. "I really want to be a judge someday. A juvenile court judge."

Trixie looked up in surprise. "Judge?" She mouthed to Dan from across the table. He smiled at her and nodded.

Dan looked at her dad. "I know it's a little, I don't know... ambitious? Farfetched? It certainly won't happen any time soon." He chuckled. "If ever! If it never happens, that's okay. But I don't think there's anything wrong with having a dream."

"You're absolutely right, Dan." Mr. Belden assured him.

"Mr. Belden, no one knows better than I what difference a good judge can make in a person's life. My own life was saved by a judge who was willing to go against conventional practice and allow my uncle to have custody of me."

"I know, Dan. We remember that. Regan was no more than a kid himself. And had a great deal of difficulty getting custody."

"And at that time I hadn't done much to show I was worth saving." He paused, knowing he was broaching a sensitive topic. No one said anything. "But because a single judge believed in Uncle Bill and with the faith and support of a certain young girl and her friends..." Dan paused and smiled at Trixie. "I was able to change my life."

"You did it yourself." Trixie finally spoke up.

"No Trixie. I did it with a lot of help." Dan turned back towards her father. "If what I'm doing now can lead to helping other kids..." He shrugged.

"Dan, we need to go." Trixie suddenly changed the subject. "You said you had work."

Dan looked at his watch. "Yeah, I'm in court all week and I have a lot of prep."

Mrs. Belden stood up. Dan stood also. "Trixie, we should stay at least long enough to help your mom clean up."

"No, Dan. I'm fine." Mrs. Belden protested.

"Dan, I have work, too." Trixie was obviously anxious to leave.

"We'll take care of the clean up. If you kids need to get back." Mr. Belden stood up and took a serving dish off the table.

Trixie ran up the stairs. Dan helped her parents clear the table while she got her things. It only took a few minutes before she was back downstairs with her shoes and coat on, and her bag packed.

"Ready, Dan?"

Dan looked at Mrs. Belden.

"We're fine. You both need to get back." She went over and hugged and kissed Trixie. Dan noticed that Trixie did not return the hug; the first time hed ever seen that. Mrs. Belden then hugged Dan. "It was so good to see you again."

"Thank you, Mrs. Belden. And thanks for the meal. You can't imagine how much I've enjoyed it."

Mr. Belden grabbed a jacket from a hook by the back door and followed Dan and Trixie out to the car. "Nice car." He commented as they walked across the gravel driveway.

"I,I kinda' splurged when I got the job in DC. It's not very practical." Dan spoke almost apologetically.

Mr. Belden laughed. "Dan, if I were your age and single, I'd have something just as impractical and I know you well enough to know you finangled some kind of good deal."

Dan grinned. "Well, I did get it used."

Mr. Belden offered his hand to Dan, smiling broadly. "I'm glad you joined us today. You're a good man. I have a great deal of respect for you."

Dan shook his hand not knowing how to respond.

"And Dan," Mr. Belden looked over at Trixie who was walking around to the passsenger side of the car. He lowered his voice just a little. "I think you're a trustworthy man, too."

Dan allowed himself a half smile. He hoped he wasn't blushing. "Thank you, Mr. Belden. I, ah, respect your opinion."

"Trixie," Mr. Belden called over to his daughter. "You take care, Sweetheart."

Dan walked over and let Trixie into the car before getting in himself. He helped Trixie buckle up and then fastened his own seat belt. Mr. Belden stood and watched as he turned the car around and drove down the driveway.

"Okay, Trixie. What's been the matter all afternoon?" Dan asked as he turned onto Glen Road and made an almost immediate turn into the Manor House drive. He stopped the car, put the gear in neutral, and turned in his seat towards Trixie. "C'mon, Trix, we don't want to spoil what I thought was a terrific weekend."

"I..." Trixie widened her eyes as she looked at him. What will he think if I repeat Moms' warning? She thought to herself.

"Trix, we've been on an emotional roller coaster because I've been afraid to be honest with my feelings. I don't want you to start the same thing now."

One big tear started to roll down Trixie's cheek. Dan reached over and wiped it with his fingers. He rubbed her cheek gently with his thumb. "Let's go up to the apartment. Uncle Bill should be out still. We'll talk." He started the car up the drive.

Dan parked the car and Trixie followed him silently up the stairs and into the apartment. He took off his jacket, helped Trixie with hers, and walked into the kitchen. Trixie stood in the doorway watching him get two bottles of water out of the refridgerator. She took the one offered to her and followed him over to the sofa. They sat down facing each other.

"Now, what gives?"

Trixie took several swallows of water before talking. "Moms. She was waiting up for me last night."

Dan nodded.

"And. Oh Dan, she made me so angry." Trixie stiffled a sob.

Dan pulled Trixie closer to him and put an arm across her shoulders. He said nothing, not wanting to upset her further and sensing this was not the time to joke with her.

"She mentioned the way I looked when we came in from riding."

"Riding? Well we were a little." He allowed himself to smile slyly, hoping she would too.

Trixie shook her head. "That's exactly what she insinuated."

"Then she mentioned how handsome you are and how she understood my attraction...my PHYSICAL attraction." Trixie stroked the underside of Dan's chin, which had been resting on her head, in an effort to let him know she was attracted to him. "But then she talked about." Trixie sat up and and turned to face Dan. "She warned me that you were 'experienced'. What a term from the dark ages! I thought I'd die!"

How many times has Trixie Belden thought she would die, he thought to himself, but said nothing.

"She went on about our being careful and not moving too fast and I was so embarrassed. I'm surprised she didn't ask what..." Trixie caught herself before she spoke too soon.

"But she's right, Trixie." Dan's tone was dead serious. Trixie pulled away even further and looked suspiciously at him. "She's right to be concerned about you." He hesitated for a long time. "About me." Dan stroked Trixie's cheek. "We both keep protesting that we're moving too fast, even if we're not doing anything to slow it down."

"I know." Trixie agreed.

"No, Trixie. You don't." Dan sighed audibly. "I was...I was spellbound last night when you came down those stairs. And the way your dad looked at me. Do you have any idea what I was thinking? Well, it wasn't so much my conscious thoughts, but what I felt?"

Trixie smiled coyly and nodded. She had a fairly good idea.

"Your father certainly did. He looked like he could read my mind. And your mother probably could, too."

"C'mon Dan."

"You're his little girl. He called you sweetheart this afternoon, several times. You're his little sweetheart and I'm the lech who wants to ravish her."

"Dan."

"And I do. Everytime I look at you."

"Dan. I'm twenty-six. I've lived on my own for years. I'm a cop. I can take care of myself."

"You're still his little sweetheart."

Trixie slumped down and sat silently as the flush moved from her face through her body.

"And Trix, I lived with another woman." Dan's tone was dead serious. "We were living 'in sin'."

Trixie startled. She was surprised that Dan would use such an old fashioned term. "I don't care about Jen. Well not that it makes a difference."

"Right now it does to me. And I'm sure it does to your parents. They see me as a man with, well, morals not quite up to theirs."

"But Brian. They haven't disowned him or."

"He's taken some real grief from your dad. Did you know that? I doubt it's something they've discussed with you, but Mart has told me. Think about it. How often does Brian come up here? How often does he bring whats-her-face?"

"Joyce?"

"Joyce."

"But it shouldn't."

"But it does."

They sat silently for a few moments.

"And we can't deny what I was." Dan finally spoke up. "Before I came to Sleepyside."

"Dan."

"No. It's part of what makes me who I am. And you don't know. They don't know everything I did. What I saw. Who I hurt, Trixie."

The tears flowed easily for Trixie now.

"I don't care about all that."

"I know that." Dan pulled her to him. "It's why I luh." He kissed and then rested his cheek against the top of her head. He sat silently, considering what to say next.

"Trixie, I did a lot of things. I stayed constantly high or drunk for a year."

"I know about that."

"And I lost a lot of inhibititions."

Dan hesitated. He gently rubbed Trixie's shoulders a few times before speaking again. "If the gang had made me do anything I, I'm sure I would have done it. Do you understand? Anything. That's how strong my loyalty was. How warped my mind was."

"But you were scared and alone. You believed they were all you had."

"I stopped making excuses a long time ago, Trixie. I was high; I was angry; and, oh gee, I was mean." Dan pulled her closely. He hesitated a long time before speaking again, rocking back and forth slightly. Squeezing her just a little too tightly, he finally asked, "Do you know what it means to Roll a Queer?"

"Of course. I'm a cop." Dan knew the bravado was forced.

Closing his eyes and sending up a silent prayer, he continued, "That was my specialty. I became an expert at that. I, I would lure men so my friends and I could beat them up and rob them. I have no idea how many. I was lucky, no one ever...I was too quick and too mean..."

Trixie reached up and put her finger to his lips. "I told you. I don't care."

"But, Trixie, understand. A lot of people do. Every one of those men. Some of them had families. They care about what I did. And I care."

"Those men were trying to pick up a young boy for sex."

"It was still wrong. And alot of people resent that I got off."

"You didn't get off. You were on probation for a long time. You couldn't travel. You missed out on so much."

"And I did other things...a lot of shoplifting, petty theft, B&Es. You name it."

"And now you're ADA Daniel Mangan. And you're honest, moral, hard-working, the best friend I ever had. And you're the best." Trixie turned around and kissed Dan. "No one kisses like you, Danny."

Dan pushed her away slightly. He wondered if he should tell her...if a confession would destroy everything. No. If he wanted this relationship to be permanent, he had to be honest with her. He needed to complete what he had started. She had to understand how others might see him. How he sometimes saw himself. He took her shoulders in his hands and kissed her forehead before speaking.

"Trix...Do you know what a 'Gang Bang' is?" He felt her stiffen slightly. Oh God...get me through this. He prayed silently. "I guess you do." He struggled for the words. "Do you know where it got it's name?" She nodded. "Trixie. Oh gee." His voice choked up, but he knew he had to continue. "It's a regular part of gang life. Certainly a part of any initiation." Dan looked down at her. Her brow was wrinkled with concern, but her eyes revelaled her shock. He didn't want to hurt her, but he had gone too far now to stop. "And other times too. Oh Trixie. Those girls. The insanity of it. That was a part of my life in the gang." He stared at her for what seemed an eternity before continuing.

"Uncle Bill knows about it all. He's the only person I've ever told. Until now. He was scared to death I'd...It was a long time before I think he trusted me. With you, Honey, Di...or any girl."

Dan sat and held Trixie. He pulled her closer. "I wish it'd never happened. How much I wish...But it did. I, I, that was the sum total of my sexual experience before college...and I'd use the term sex very loosely."

Trixie sighed. "Except for Manhattanville?" Trixie didn't know what caused the sudden rebellion his freshman year of college but she knew about it. She sighed again.

Dan wasn't sure what the sigh was for. It was almost as if in relief.

" Yeah. Manhattanville. But you know about that. So when I said I was inexperienced when I met Jen, I.... I pretty much was. Not a virgin, but...Unlike what some people thought,I did NOT deflower half the girls in Sleepyside." He tried to grin. "I'll have to admit I made a few attempts."

"Ssh." Trixie put her fingers to his lips and smiled at him. "I know you did things. I've always known that you've seen and done some horrific things, even if I haven't known the details. But that's the past. You've proven over and over again that you are a good person. I'll never be able to fully understand what you went through, but I think I know the man sitting here beside me, today." Trixie scooted closer and kissed him lightly on the lips. "And he's one heck of a kisser." Dan smiled as he pulled her to him. "And I..."

Somehow, they ended up spread on the couch, facing each other, their legs entwined, their clothes disheveled, and Trixie's hands brushing the hair from his face. "I know who you are. What you are, today. And how you make me feel. All I care about, all that's important is here and now."

"And the future?" Dan muttered as he kissed her, wanting to show her all his feelings, hope, and desire.

Thump. "Huhhemmm." Regan cleared his throat as he entered the apartment. He could tell that Dan and Trixie were laying on the sofa. A mess of curly blonde hair and two large blue eyes peeked over the back of the sofa. The eyes blinked several times. "Hi Regan." A weak voice greeted him.

"Trixie. I, aah." Regan's face was red. The color was spreading to his ears and down his neck.

Dan sat up. "Uncle Bill. We were just." Dan and Trixie were trying to get untangled and sit up.

"Talking?" Regan asked as he set down his packages and turned his back to them. He slowly took off his coat and hung it up. He hoped Dan and Trixie were only kissing. In fact, he was pretty certain their relationship hadn't progressed any further. He turned back around to face them. "How was dinner?"

"Great! Pot roast!" Dan grinned sheepishly at Trixie. "And apple pie for dessert."

"I'm sorry, Regan. I should have invited you, too."

"No, Trixie. I just came from Sunday brunch at the Inn with Mary. We do it almost every Sunday."

"I need to get my gear. We need to head back," Dan said as he went to his room. He motioned to Trixie to see if she wanted to follow. Trixie shook her head and remained on the sofa, her make-up gone and her hair tousled.

"Don't be embarassed Trixie," Regan feared hed make the situation worse. "I think you're the best thing that could ever happen to Dan."

"This was terribly rude of us."

"This is Dan's home, too."

"You have the right to..."

Regan crossed the room and pulled Trixie up from the sofa. "It's been a long time since I've seen him this happy and it's because of you." He kissed her forehead. "Go wash your face." He half-whispered.

Regan walked over to Dan's room and leaned against the door frame. He waited until he heard Trixie shut the door of the bathroom before clearing his throat.

"We were only..." Dan zipped up his duffel bag.

"I know. I'm not saying anything." Regan tried to look stern but half smiled.

"This is different. She's different." Dan looked at his uncle. "She's not Jen."

"Just don't forget that."

Trixie flipped down the toilet seat and flushed the toilet. She sat down and cried; tears of embarassment, tears of joy, tears of fear, tears of relief. She realized she had fallen in love with this complex person called Daniel Mangan.

x x x

Dan turned his car onto Trixie's street. "I really don't want this weekend to end, Trixie."

"Then don't let it."

Dan looked over at her and smiled.

"Park the car and come on up for a while. We'll have sandwiches or something."

"I have work."

"Bring it up."

Dan knew that if he were thinking clearly, he'd drop Trixie off and go on to his own apartment, but he wasn't thinking clearly. He found a space and parked. He got Trixie's bag out of the trunk and they headed up the street. Trixie stopped him in front of the corner market. "I need to get something in here." She said. "I'll run in. Would you mind waiting out here and holding my bag?" She pointed to a sign on the door, No large parcels or purses allowed inside. Dan stepped back to lean against the building, reaching to take her bag.

"Oh Geez." Trixie hissed as she backed away from the glass doors.

"Trixie?" Dan was alarmed by her tone.

"Do you have your cell phone?"

Dan nodded. He saw that Trixie had her gun drawn. Where did that come from? He wondered. She definitely wasn't wearing it back at the apartment!

"Stay right here. Don't you DARE move. Call 911 and tell them there's an armed robbery in progress. The kid has a knife." She peered through the glass into the store. "He's alone. Tell them I'm inside."

"Trixie."

"Tell them I'm inside! Damn. Do as I say. DON'T MOVE! Wait for the patrol car. RIGHT HERE."

Dan was stunned. Trixie was definitely in command. On the one hand it was obvious she knew what she was doing, but his every instinct was to protect her. Feeling like a total wimp, he pulled out his cell phone and called 911.

Trixie checked inside again. She inspected the doorway. Fortunately there were no bells or other noise makers to announce her entrance. She quietly entered the store. Dan was furious with her for entering the store, with himself for standing there allowing her.

Thump. He heard from inside the store. He fought every instinct to run inside. POLICE. STOP RIGHT THERE SCUMBAG. Thump. GET DOWN. GET DOWN! Thump. STAY DOWN.

"Please lady! No!" It was only a minute or so but felt to Dan like hours before he heard any further sounds from inside the store.

"Dan?" Trixie called out. Dan could breathe for the first time since Trixie had entered the store.

"Yeah?"

"Could you come in here, please?"

He almost laughed out loud. Her voice was sweet and calming. It was as if she called him to help her arrest someone every day. He entered the store. A young man was spread eagle on the floor in front of the doors with Trixie standing near him, her gun pointed directly at the center of his neck.

"Would you please help Mr. Chan?" The elderly owner of the store was trembling profusely. "Mr. Chan could you wait at the door for the other police to come?" Mr. Chan walked shakily over to the door. Trixie handed Dan her purse. "There should be handcuffs in there." She said as Dan took it from her and bent down over the young man. Just as Dan was pulling a pair of plastic handcuffs from Trixie's purse, two uniformed officers came running into the store.

Trixie spent the next 90 minutes making formal statements, first with the uniformed officers and then with two detectives who arrived later. Throughout the process Dan watched quietly as he witnessed Trixie in her element for the first time. Finally, she was able to get the things shed come in to purchase, although Mr. Chan refused payment, and they left. Mr. Chan shook both their hands as they were leaving. "Thank you so much, Miss Belden, Mr. Mangan. You saved my life."

"No, Mr. Chan. The kid only wanted to scare you and take your money. That knife was more for show than to hurt you." Trixie might convince Mr. Chan, but not Dan. He had seen the knife and the crazed look on the "kid's" face.

"Thank you, Detective Belden."

Dan led Trixie out of the store. They walked up the sidewalk, holding hands.

"Well that put a strange twist on the weekend. Don't you think counselor?" Trixie said as they headed up the block.

"Don't make light of it Trixie. I was. It took all my self control to stand there like some worthless coward and let you go in."

"Dan," Trixie stopped and turned to him. "It's my job. I'm trained. I knew exactly what I was doing. I saw what was going on, accessed the situation and addressed it. And I would have thought twice if you hadn't been there to back me up."

"Back you up?"

"You would've been in the way when I first went in,but I knew that Mr. Chan would never be able to call 911, much less help restrain the guy. Then I needed someone to wait outside for the uniforms. I could still be standing there with my gun pointed at his neck without you to help." She stood on tiptoes and kissed Dan on the cheek. "I think we make a pretty good team, don't you?" They headed up the sidewalk.

Dan got her situated in her apartment and went to leave. It was now late and he did need to get home and prepare for his morning cases. "Dan, are you okay?" Trixie asked in a serious tone as she walked him to the door.

"Okay?"

"It took a lot of courage to say those things. Tell me about what you did in the gang."

"Trix,I want you to know who you're seeing."

"And I think it takes, I mean, seeing me in the store and all."

"I wouldn't say Im okay with that, but I accept it."

"It's what I am."

"I know Trixie." He pulled her up to him and kissed her. I've always thought you're unlike anyone I've ever known. This afternoon just confirmed it. You're. Oh, Trix." He kissed her again.

"I love my work. I can't change."

"Have I asked you to?" Dan kissed the top of her head and held her for a while. Her hair smelled so wonderful. She was physically diminuative, emotionally vulnerable, ravishingly beautiful, sweet smelling, passionate, full of joy and life and a gun-toting, butt-kicking, no-nonsense, in-your-face cop. Why change anything?