December 22, 1994
Winter Solstice
Sleepyside on the Hudson, New York
Dan Mangan scratched his neck, rolled over, and then punched and pounded his pillow into a ball. He kicked back the covers, then pulled them back up before turning back over and glancing at the clock.
2:23.
He watched as the digital clock’s face changed to 2:24, then 2:25. By 2:44 he accepted that he was going to spend another sleepless night, so he got out of the bed.
“Can’t sleep?” his wife mumbled as he pulled on a pair of sweatpants.
“Might read awhile.”
“You haven’t slept in a week. Are you sure it’s a good idea to go. Maybe you should talk to…”
“I have to go.”
“Well, please don’t wait outside in this weather. She’ll be there all morning.”
Dan pulled the door to the hallway shut without replying.
Turning on a kitchen light, he started the coffee pot and then stared at his reflection in the window over the kitchen sink as he waited for it to brew. It had been almost thirty years since he’d arrived in Vietnam, no more than a boy and totally unprepared for the horrors that awaited him. He’d aged almost as much in that single year “in country” as he had in the decades since. His adjustment had been difficult when he returned home, but, with time, the nightmares had lessened, and he’d built a good life with family and friends who cared.
But he never forgot.
And they didn’t know. None of them.
Seeing that the coffee had stopped brewing, Dan grabbed his favorite mug, one with a huge yellow sun, and filled it with the steaming dark liquid. He grabbed some caraway seed cookies from a tin and headed for the den, lit only by the dying embers of the Yule log in the fireplace. Sitting on a stool, he stirred the embers and added some kindling and newspaper. Once reassured that it would continue to burn for several more hours, he replaced the screen and downed the last of the coffee.
It was still dark and the only sound as he drove on the empty slick streets was that of the car engine and the wipers’ intermittent sweeping of icy slush from the windshield, but Dan welcomed the quiet. He needed to prepare himself for this meeting. He hesitated as he pulled into the lot and parked his car, but knew he wouldn’t sleep again until he completed this mission.
Seeing that a man was already waiting near the entrance of the bookstore, he pulled on a knit cap, stuffed a package inside his parka and slipped on his heavy leather gloves. He crossed the lot and nodded at the other man who nodded silently in return. Pulling up the collar of his coat, he huddled against the wall in a useless effort to stay out of the rain.
By the time the automatic timers shut off the parking lot lights, the line went along the entire front of the bookstore and disappeared around the corner of the building. Dan was fighting the impulse to shiver when he saw a familiar sedan pull into the lot. He waved when he saw his wife heading towards him with a large thermos.
“You didn’t need to do this.” He protested, but took the thermos anyway. He unscrewed the lid and watched the hot steam rise from the metal cylinder.
“Cold?” Realizing the absurdity of the question, she chuckled. “I guess that’s a stupid question.”
“I’m fine. Except for my feet. But they’re always cold.”
“I wish you’d have that checked. It might be your circulation…or nerve damage.”
“I’m fine!” He blew across the top of the thermos again before taking a sip.
“You’re not.” She reached up and stroked the stubble on his chin. “It’s been almost thirty years and you still have nightmares. You’ve never said a word about…It’s not healthy!” She choked back a sob.
They were interrupted when by a teenager stepping out of the store to unlock the door. He stared in shock at the bedraggled group, wondering if he should allow them to enter.
“We’re here for the book signing,” one man offered, so the teen held the door open wider and they began filing through.
“The signing’s in the rear. Form a line back there.”
“Your feet have been bothering you for years,” his wife continued as they walked through the store. “You know it’s related to your injury. Why don’t we ask Brian to check it when he comes over on Christmas?”
“I’m not bothering him on Christmas.”
Dan looked over at the table sitting on a riser with two stacks of books waiting to be signed and a small artificial Christmas tree in the corner. The empty chair waiting for its occupant reminded him of another Yuletide season when he had waited in the rain for the same woman.
December 25, 1968
Christmas Day
Cam Ranh Bay, South Vietnam
“What the hell is that?” Dan Mangan asked as he motioned for a Marine to scoot over and make room for him on the metal bench.
“You’re the Corporal. You’re supposed to be smart enough to figure it out.”
Dan grabbed the proffered bottle, glanced at the label, and took a swig. “Knob Creek Bourbon? Did you steal it?”
“It was in the package from my brother.” G-man got some vodka and Digger got some gin. I doubt we’ll see them until...”
“Yeah, luck of the draw; we get to sit in this downpour and listen to Bob Hope crack a few corny jokes and...”
“I’m not complaining. Two days ago...”
Two days earlier, Dan and the other members of his squad were on patrol in the jungle when they were ordered to get to a landing zone and board helicopters that took them directly to Cam Ranh Bay. Once there, they were allowed to shower, given new fatigues, boots and other equipment, and ordered to clean their weapons and gear. While catching up on their mail and “care packages”, they were advised that they were among the select few who would be attending the infamous Bob Hope Christmas show later that day.
Dan really wasn’t interested in sitting through Bob Hope’s corny jokes or the parading of some unknown starlets and beauty queens, but he was interested in getting some sleep and enjoying some of the bounty from home. Dan had received several packages that were sent in hopes he’d receive them for Christmas. He had opened the large package from Trixie Belden first. Despite their being separated for over a year, she’d kept her promise to write every day, and there was a long missive, photographs, a tin container packed with cookies and hard candies, and stationary. She’d even included a tiny plastic tree. Her brother Mart sent bottles of Seagram’s 7 and Johnny Walker Red as well as some of their neighbor’s famous windmill cookies. He received snacks and baked goods from several other friends. He and his friends had a good laugh over the scarf Mart’s girlfriend Diana had knitted, wondering if she realized how hot it was in the jungle. But her heart was in the right place. His Uncle Bill had sent socks, several rolls of film and a new Brownie Camera to replace the one that probably had saved his life in September.
Care packages were seldom delivered in the field and Dan wasn’t the only one who had received Christmas cheer. A great Christmas party was well underway long before the show started in the Robert E. Pugh Memorial Amphitheater, but Dan had taken time to write Trixie before joining his buddies in the crowd around the stage.
“What you got to share, Dead Eye?” The other Marine took back his bottle and tried to see into the box Dan carried.
Dan opened Mart’s tin of windmill cookies and offered them to his buddies, unable to believe that, less than forty-eight hours after he had been wading through a rice paddy, he was showered, wearing clean fatigues, and washing Mrs. Vanderpoel’s cookies down with first rate whiskey.
Dan took another swig of the Knob Creek. “Smoooth,” he groaned as if in ecstasy as he passed the bottle along. “Now try these cookies.” He held up the tin.
“Are these from that busty little blonde?”
Dan jumped up, challenging the creepy Marine. His name of K-rat was well earned and Dan has always wanted an excuse to pummel him.
K-rat leaned back and held up his hands in defense. “Sorry, Dead-Eye. I was only implying that your girl’s attractive.”
“Don’t say anything …anything…about her.” Dan grabbed K-rat’s shirt. “Don’t even look at her pictures. She’s...she’s...
“Special,” he completed silently as his friends pulled him away and he sat back down.
Dan and his squad members had emptied several bottles, finished off all of the windmill cookies, a canned ham, and several boxes of other cookies and treats shipped from all corners of the US, when a construction team began working on the scaffolding in front of the stage, raising the platform at least five feet and blocking the view of those sitting behind it.
A sailor sitting almost directly behind jumped up onto the platform and began beating on one of the workers.
Several of those sitting around Dan started to jump up to join the sailor, but Dan was able to settle them down. He really didn’t care if he could see the stage or not and he was not going to spend the next few days in a cell.
Enjoying his whiskey, Dan was barely aware that the rain had let up until someone pointed to a Chinook flying overhead. “There they are! Finally.” Dan figured two hours wasn’t too much of a wait. This was Vietnam, where the motto was “hurry up and wait.”
When Les Brown and his Band of Renown began tuning, Dan struggled to stand and, weaving back and forth, he began hooting drunkenly and “conducting” the band. His intent was to celebrate that the show was beginning, but the crowd of over 20,000 military personnel, most of whom also were completely wasted, stood and began chanting for the show to start.
Dan began waving his arms as the crowd became louder and louder, drowning out the band when it began playing. When General Frederick C. Weyland walked onto the stage, they quieted down immediately. Dan fell back onto the bench.
“You’re about to meet a man who has spent the past twenty years putting his money where his mouth is. This guy’s a real peace symbol.” The crowd roared when the general flashed the familiar V. “It’s my honor to introduce Bob Hope.”
The band began playing Hope’s signature “Thanks for the Memories” and the comedian walked onto the stage with a golf club resting on his shoulder. Dan was tapped on the shoulder by an MP who motioned for him to follow. The MP and some twerp civilian led him down the aisle and to the front of the stage, where the MP told him to wait until he was called up.
“Called up?”
“Yeah. You’ve been volunteered to dance on the stage.” The MP pointed to the civilian. “He’s one of the production staff. He’ll tell you what to do.”
“What?” Dan called out to the MP as he walked away.
Not knowing what else to do, and not sure if he could make it back to his seat, Dan waited at the bottom of the steps leading up to the stage.
“It’s great to be here in Cam Ranh Bay, where 20,000 people in one place are dedicated to the same thing...how to get to Bangkok.” Bob Hope paused while the crowd laughed.
“I see that the cease fire is working. We flew over the Ho Chi Minh Trail and nothing is moving. It’s the worst traffic jam I ever saw; worse than the LA Freeway.” The crowd laughed again.
Dan shrugged. The jokes were even cornier than he expected. He was looking for a way to return to his seat when he was joined by three other enlisted men, an Army PFC, Air Force Airman, and Navy Petty Officer.
“I guess you know that back home the election is over and the Birds are flying south.” The crowd roared as second civilian walked over to Dan and the other young men. He took his headphones off and motioned for the men to come closer.
“Mr. Hope is going to introduce the Goldiggers.”
“Who?” Dan asked.
The twerp civilian sighed loudly. “A dancing troupe. They have a television show.” All four men stared in confusion. None of them had seen any television in months.
“It’s a dozen sexy girls in mini-skirts.” The civilian with the earphones explained.
They nodded in unison. THAT they understood. “When I yell at you, I want the three of you,” he pointed to the airman, soldier and sailor, “To run up on the stage. The girls will be in three groups and I want each of you to join a group.” He waited to see if they understood.
“What’ll we do when we get there?” The sailor was obviously nervous.
“Dance. Nothing particular...just dance around in the group. The girls will show you what to do.”
“I dunno.” The soldier shook his head. “I don’t dance so good.”
“We don’t want you to. You just dance around, look a little embarrassed and enjoy yourselves.”
“What about me?” Dan asked.
“You’ll go up on stage with another act.” The civilian turned and walked away.
Dan watched as Bob Hope introduced the Goldiggers and a dozen young women in hot pink mini-dresses ran onto the stage. They began a dancing routine and the other three men joined them on cue.
Several acts followed, each introduced by Mr. Hope. Finally a tall, very leggy and very sexy redhead in white leather knee-high boots and a bright floral mini-dress came onto stage. After some banter with Bob Hope, she came over and tried to pull Dan onto the stage with her. “I don’t dance! I...”
“You’ll be fine,” she reassured him as she sang and danced rather erotically. Dan moved around the stage in a drunken stupor until the song ended. He started towards the side of the stage when the redhead grabbed his arm. “I need to introduce you.”
She asked Dan a few standard questions and Dan mumbled a few answers. Once finished she kissed him on the cheek and whispered, “You need to come back on stage for photographs after the show.”
Dan nodded and headed back to his seat.
The light rain turned into a monsoon as soon as he sat down. Those lucky enough to have ponchos huddled under them, although they offered little protection. Dan and his buddies focused on the stage and their food and drink, oblivious to the wet and cold.
The ensemble donned hats and remained on stage, performing several dance and comedy routines in the rain.
"We're not going to let this little rain shower bother us are we?" asked Hope. "Where's Billy Graham when you need him?" When a stagehand came to take the redhead’s fur coat out of the rain, he remarked, "Look at this…nothing gets saved but the fur."
They finished the show with "Silent Night," and the audience sat there in the downpour and sang with them.
Still in disbelief, Dan stood in the rain and sang too. As the crowd began to disburse, he gave his new camera to G-man and they headed to the stage. An MP tried to stop him from climbing the stairs, when the beautiful redhead intervened.
“No, no. This is one of my gentlemen.” The MP stepped aside and Dan climbed onto the stage where the voluptuous actress stood in the rain and posed with him for photographs until the camera ran out of film.
December 22, 1994
Winter Solstice
Sleepyside on the Hudson, New York
Dan’s daydreaming was interrupted by two men leading a 50-something woman through the crowd and up onto the riser.
“She’s just as beautiful as ever,” he thought as he watched her sit down behind the table.
“You’ve waited a long time for this?” his wife asked.
Dan smiled down at her. “You have no idea.” Realizing that she really did have no idea, and that it was only because of his reluctance to share his experiences in Vietnam, he gave her a hug.“You’ve waited a long time, too.” He pulled her closer and kissed the top of the head. “For me to make sense of it all.”
His wife pulled away when the line started to move. “Got the photo?”
He nodded, pulled the photograph from inside his jacket, and stepped forward. He was stopped by a bookstore employee who announced that the author would sign only her book and no memorabilia would be permitted.
Dan looked down at the envelope he was carrying. While he certainly planned to buy a book and get her autograph, he especially wanted to thank her in person. He had wanted to show her the photo he held and had cherished so dearly for almost three decades, and to let her know how much she had meant to a lonely serviceman so far from home.
As second in line, it was soon Dan's turn.
He presented a book to be signed and then took the photo out of the envelope. When he did, there were many shouts from the employees that she would not sign it.
"I understand,” Dan said. “I just want her to see it." He handed it to the woman.
She took one look at the photo, tears welled up in her eyes and she said to the bookstore employee who was pushing Dan away, "This is one of my gentlemen from Vietnam and I most certainly will sign his photo. I know what these men did for their country and I always have time for my gentlemen."
With that, she pulled Dan across the table and planted a big kiss on him. She then made quite a to-do about the bravery of the young men she met over the years, how much she admired them, and how much she appreciated them. There were few dry eyes among those close enough to hear. She then invited Dan to come around to her side of the table and posed so that his wife could take photographs. For a half hour or more, she acted as if he were the only one there.
Later at lunch, Dan was even more quiet than usual. Finally, his wife asked him if he'd like to talk about the picture and its story, and the big strong man broke down in tears. "That's the first time anyone ever thanked me for my time in Vietnam," he said.
Once he composed himself he told her the story of that day in Cam Ranh Bay, and, as they sipped coffee he rambled on about the days before and after that he had spent in Vietnam. She nodded silently, or touched his hand from time to time, but primarily sat silently. She’d known he never forgot and, finally, she was learning why.
That day was a turning point for him, and definitely one of the most important in his life. He walked a little straighter and, for the first time in years, was proud to have been a Marine. He only wished that Ann-Margret knew how grateful he was for her graciousness, and how much that small act of kindness meant to him.
Ye who now will bless the poor
Shall yourselves find blessing
Author’s Notes:
DISCLAIMER:
Trixie Belden® is the registered, copyrighted property of Random House Publishing, as are many of the characters in this story. I am only borrowing their use. This story is written only for entertainment and I do not intend to profit financially from it in any way.
I was delighted when I received the name of my 2013 Secret Santa giftfic recipient. I couldn’t wait to create a story that might express my gratitude for her friendship and support of my writing over the past several years.
I am blessed to call her friend and pleased to share this gift to Mal.
Story title is from Good King Wenceslas (1853, music by Thomas Helmore, lyrics by John Mason Neale) is a popular Christmas carol that tells a store of Good King Wenceslas braving harsh winter weather to give alms to a poor peasant on the Feast of Stephen (December 26). The legend is based on the life of Wenceslaus I, Duke of Bohemia. (907–935).
A Yule Log is a large and very hard log which is burned in the hearth as part of traditional Yule or Christmas celebrations in several European cultures. The Yule log has been said to have its origins in the historical Germanic paganism which was practiced across northern Europe prior to Christianization and morphed into the early European Christian tradition of the Twelve Days of Christmas. The ceremonial Yule Log was the highlight of the Winter Solstice festival. In accordance to tradition, the log must either have been harvested from the householder's land, or given as a gift. Once dragged into the house and placed in the fireplace it was decorated in seasonal greenery, doused with cider or ale, and dusted with flour before set ablaze by a piece of last year’s log, (held onto for just this purpose). The log would burn throughout the night, then smolder for 12 days after before being ceremonially put out.
Knob Creek Bourbon, is a brand of Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey produced by Beam, Inc. at the Jim Beam distillery in Clermont, Kentucky. It is one of the four Jim Beam small batch brands targeted for the high-end liquor market. Seagram’s 7 is a blended American whiskey produced by Diago under the Seagram name. Johnny Walker Red is a brand of Scotch whiskey also owned by Diago and originated in Kilmarnock, Aurshire, Scotland. Johnny Walker is the most widely distributed brand of blended Scotch whisky in the world.
The Brownie Camera is a long-running popular series of simple and inexpensive cameras made by Eastman Kodak. The Brownie popularized low-cost photography and introduced the concept of the snapshot. One of the most popular Brownie models was the Brownie 127, millions of which were sold between 1952 and the late 1960s.
Bob Hope(1903-2003) was an English-born American comedian, vaudevillian, actor, singer, dancer, author, and athlete. He was noted for his numerous United Service Organizations (USO) shows entertaining American military personnel having made 57 tours between 1941 and 1991. From 1964 to 1972, Hope included South Vietnam on his annual trips to visit troops during the holiday season. His 1968 Operation Holly Tour performed for over 20,000 military personnel at Cam Ranh Bay on Christmas Day, 1968.
Les Brown and his Band of Renown began in the late 1930s, initially as the group Les Brown and His Blue Devils, led by Brown while he was a student at Duke University. They performed with Bob Hope on radio, stage and television for almost fifty years. They did 18 United Service Organizations (USO) Tours for American troops around the world, and entertained over three million people.
General Frederick C. Weyland was a U.S. Army General. He was the last commander of US military operations in Vietnam from 1972 to 1973, and served as the 28th US Army Chief of Staff from 1974 to 1976. In 1968, he was the chief of the Office of Reserve Components in Vietnam.
The V Sign is a hand gesture in which the index and middle fingers are raised and parted, while the other fingers are clenched. Since the 1960s, when the "V sign" was widely adopted by the counterculture movement, it has come to be used as a symbol of peace (usually with palm outward).
Thanks for the Memories (©1938, music by Ralph Rainger, lyrics by Leo Roin) is a popular song introduced in the 1938 film The Big Broadcast of 1938, with vocals by Bob Hope and Shirley Ross. The song won the Academy Award of Best Original Song and became Hope's signature tune, with many different lyrics adapted to any situation.
The Golddiggers were a singing and dancing troupe of young women that performed in the style of Las Vegas showgirls, and were chosen for their wholesome, attractive looks, talent and presence. The initial group, which numbered 12 girls, joined Bob Hope in 1968, 1969, and 1970 on his annual USO-sponsored Christmas tours of U.S. military bases around the globe.
Silent Night (1818, music by Franz Gruber, lyrics by Joseph Mohr) is a popular Christmas carol that has been recorded by a large number of singers from every music genre. The 1968 Bob Hope Christmas show was finished with the entire troupe singing Silent Night. “The audience sat there in the rain and sang with them. It was the only Christmas they had, and they weren't going to miss it," Bob Hope said about the Christmas Day performance at Cam Ranh Bay.
Ann-Margret (b. 1941 as Ann-Margret Olsson) is a Swedish-American actress, singer, and dancer. She has won five Golden Globe Awards and been nominated for two Academy Awards, two Grammy Awards, A Screen Actors Guild Award, and six Emmy Awards. In 2010, she won her first Emmy Award for a guest appearance on Law & Order: SVU. She was a frequent star of Bob Hope’s USO Tours in the 1960-1970s, including his 1968 Christmas Show. The contemporary book store scene with Ann-Margret is based on a true story. Countless versions of it are found throughout the internet. This version was taken from Ms. Margret’s official website, Ann-Margret Official Website.
In the story, Dan suffers from a mild version of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), as do many war veterans. The diagnosis is usually given when a group of symptoms such as disturbing recurring flashbacks, avoidance or numbing of memories of the event, and high levels of anxiety. Typically the individual with PTSD avoids all thoughts, emotions and discussion of the stressor event and may experience amnesia for it. However, the event is relived through flashbacks and nightmares. Individuals not infrequently experience "survivor's guilt" for remaining alive while others died.