Chapter 10
With a Little Help From My Friends
Oh, I
get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, Gonna try with a little help from my friends
Friday, August 26, 1967
Live from our newsroom in New York, it’s Walter Cronkite with the news…with Bernard Kalb reporting from Saigon…and Dan Rather in Washington, DC.
Good evening. The Beatles' manager, Brian Epstein, has been
found dead at his Belgravia home in London. A cause of death has not been
determined. Brian Epstein's housekeeper discovered his body in his bedroom.
Mr. Epstein, 32, was due to travel tomorrow to Bangor in north Wales to join the Beatles at a meeting of the International Meditation Society.
The People’s Republic of China announced that it has shot down a United States plane violating its airspace.
“I only feel like riding because I’m still on a sugar high from all the junk we ate last night.” Honey walked across the drive towards the stable complex. “And I really wanted to go on a ride while the three of us are together.”
“I still ride Sunny from time to time, but it’s just not the same as going for a ride with you guys,” Diana said.
“Or the boys,” Honey added wistfully.
“I’m perfectly happy that it’s just the three of us,” Trixie said as she walked ahead of her friends toward the stalls.
Honey and Diana smiled at each other as they followed. The three friends had sat up most of the night, sharing the details of their summer activities. Trixie had explained to Honey that she officially broke up with Jim and wanted to focus on school and work. Honey was just as skeptical as Diana had been, but she wanted to support her friend’s decision. Diana had shared that she was now taking “The Pill”, but did not tell her friends what led up to that decision.
It took some significant goading, a double bag of potato chips, two and a half batches of chocolate chip cookies and an indeterminate amount of Coke to get Honey to relate what occurred in Cannes and why she had blisters and no tan lines.
Honey explained to her friends how she had met David in Cannes and spent the next several days with the talented young man. Trixie and Diana had been sympathetic when she told them about the party hosted by her boarding school nemesis who began bullying her from the moment they arrived. David had been forced to spend most of the afternoon at the piano, leaving her alone, while she was drinking Long Island Iced Tea.
“Long Island Iced Tea?” Trixie interrupted her friend.
“It’s a drink,” Diana explained. “It has—I don’t know—I think it has vodka, gin, tequila, and rum; maybe some Coke or tea.”
“How many did you drink?” Trixie’s shock was obvious.
“I lost count. I didn’t realize how potent they were and I was so miserable.” Honey got up from the floor.
“I’m sorry,” Trixie realized she needed to let her friend talk. “Please go on, Honey.”
Honey stared at her friends for some time before continuing. “By the time David could get away from the piano, I was feeling numb, even though I wouldn’t say I was drunk. I think he realized how miserable I was, so he asked me to go for a walk on the beach. I didn’t want to, but I went along. We ran into Bitsy and she started nagging us about joining her. She was standing there totally nude, taunting me, so I just said the heck with it. I stripped off my sundress and walked into the water. Honey waited for a reaction, but there was none.
“I think David was more shocked than I was, but eventually he joined me. We weren’t there long. We swam, put our clothes back on and left. But the next morning, I had the worst sunburn of my entire life!” She sat back on the floor.
“Did you...” Diana hesitated to ask. “Did you and David do anything?”
Honey laughed. “Surprisingly not. I think he was more embarrassed than I was and I was pretty mortified when I sobered up and realized what I had done. He did call the next day, but Mother was feeling better and I was busy with her. He said he would call me when he gets back to New York, but I told him to consider me the Girl of the Minute. I doubt I’ll ever hear from him again.”
Trixie hefted a saddle and placed it on Strawberry. She slid it into place and tightened the strap around her girth. Once the horse was properly saddled, she stood patting her nose absent-mindedly, trying to imagine Honey Wheeler frolicking naked in the Mediterranean.
“Ready, Trixie?” Honey and Diana were mounted and waiting.
Trixie quickly mounted Strawberry, adjusted the stirrups and followed her friends. They spent the next hour riding through the preserve, quietly enjoying each other’s company, the fresh morning air and occasional scenic vistas of the Hudson River Valley.
Regan came out of his office to meet them when they returned to the stables, playfully scolding them for not riding more often. He got two stable boys to help Honey and Diana with the horses and led Trixie into his office.
“What’d I do, Regan?” Trixie asked as she followed him.
Regan laughed. “Should I be asking what you’re up to? Would you like a cold drink?” He stepped into the adjacent storeroom and opened a refrigerator. “I don’t have any strawberry pop, but I do have Coke.”
“Coke is fine. I am thirsty.” Trixie wondered if Regan was intentionally putting off talking to her as she waited for him to return.
“Thanks.” She took the proffered bottle and sat in the chair across the desk from Regan. “It’s starting to get hot out there. What’s up?”
Regan pulled an envelope from under a pile of papers on his desk. Trixie recognized that it was free military mail. She watched as he took a sheet of paper and some cards out of the envelope.
“Have you heard from Dan recently?” He asked, as he unfolded the paper.
Trixie shook her head.
“Dan said something in his last letter about needing to write you. I got this yesterday. It’s the information about his graduation next month. There are four invitations. Maypenny isn’t up to the trip, but I thought you and Mart might want to go. You’re the closest thing to family he has.”
It was obvious to Trixie that Regan was totally clueless about the letter that Dan had mailed to her in July. She wasn’t sure how much she should share with him.
“You’re his family, Regan.”
“Yes,” he agreed. “But the Bob Whites and your family—especially you and Mart—have given him something that I couldn’t. I think it would be nice if...We’d have to drive down the day before and stay over, but I’d pay for a separate room for you. If your parents are concerned, you can bring Honey or Diana along. The other graduates will have their parents, grandparents, a big family present, so I thought...”
“I don’t know...” Trixie hesitated. She wanted Dan to have a large family at his graduation but...“I have school and my job…I’m not sure I could get off.”
“Graduation is September 15th. I thought that was before you start classes. And it’s a Thursday. We could drive down on Wednesday and be back on Friday. Isn’t your new job just weekends?”
Trixie nodded. She would begin two weeks of training the next day and would start working weekends on September 10th. Classes didn’t start until the 21st. School and work really wouldn’t create problems. But the things Dan said in his letter and her resolve to not get involved with men would.
“I don’t know, Regan. I...”
Regan leaned forward and placed his elbows on the desk. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on between you and Dan? I thought you’d jump...”
“Nothing! Nothing is going on between us!” Trixie raised her voice and started to get up from her seat. Regan motioned for her to sit back down.
“Forget I asked that. But think about going down to South Carolina... if for no other reason than to help me with the driving. I am not looking forward to that.”
Trixie stood up and turned to leave, but stopped when Regan called her name.
“I’ve received three letters from Dan. This most recent has the passes for Parents’ Day and Graduation. I expected two, but he sent four. The earlier two letters have been more about you—asking if I’ve seen you; his concerns about your being alone; reminding me to let you know something. It was harder for him to leave you than any one or anything in Sleepyside. I anticipated that before he left and I’m sure of it after reading his letters. I’m certain that Dan intends for you to take one of those passes. You know how he feels about you.”
Trixie stood in the doorway with her back to Regan, holding back the tears. “No, Regan. I don’t know. I don’t know how he feels. I just know that I can’t make the trip to South Carolina.” She ran out of the stables and didn’t stop until she was at Crabapple Farm. Thankful thather parents’ cars were gone, she ran across the driveway, through the kitchen door and up to her room.
She sat in her room for some time, not sure if she wanted to cry or kick something. Finally, she decided she couldn’t ignore Dan’s letter any longer. She sat down at her desk, took several sheets of blue stationary from a drawer and began to write. Daniel Mangan was not going to have the final word in this.
They were two-thirds of the way through Boot Camp and Sergeant Henke was riding them worse than ever. Dan wondered if the Senior Drill Instructor was caving to pressure or if he was just determined that they be drilled beyond perfection. He understood that the skills he was learning could mean the difference between life and death in a combat situation and Dan was determined to survive his time in the Marine Corps, wherever that took him, so he stoically accepted whatever the Sergeant demanded.
The August morning seemed more hot and humid than any they’d suffered before. Most of the squad had failed the rifle inspection earlier that morning and were late falling into formation. Nothing seemed to be going right. They were tense and testy when the sergeant ordered them to run back into the barracks to saddle up in field marching packs and hard-hats and be back in formation in three minutes.
While trying to accomplish this impossible task, one of Dan’s personal letters fell from his pack onto the deck and came to rest next to his bunk. While their personal correspondence was considered private, when it fell it became contraband and any right to privacy flew out the window.
The platoon did not meet the three-minute deadline they’d been given to saddle up and return to formation. This irritated the sergeant, so he directed the recruits to pack and unpack their field marching packs, over and over again. If the sergeant saw a boot doing a good job, he would walk over to him and scatter his items across the deck. He scattered Dan’s gear twice. All of the recruits were so focused on the task and the sergeant’s incessant bellowing, that no one noticed when he picked up an envelope from the deck.
Finally, he called the platoon to attention and commanded, “Recruit Mangan. Front and center.”
Dan stepped out of the ranks, strutted to the front of the platoon and faced the Sergeant.
“Mangan, does a recruit litter his area of the squad bay?”
Sir, no sir!”
“Then tell me, Maggot, what have we got here?” The Sergeant held up several pieces of blue stationary and waved them back and forth. “We found this on the deck in your bunk area. Do you know anyone who might litter your area?
“Sir, no sir!”
“In that case, Maggot, do an about face and read it to the platoon. This platoon will identify its source so we may apprehend the guilty party.” He turned to the other recruits. “Platoon, you will listen up and listen for clues, so that the offending party can be located.”
Dan looked at the letter. His face grew ghostly white. Sweat dripped down his forehead and onto the papers in his hands. He knew it was futile to refuse to read it.
“You’re wasting my time and the rest of the platoon’s time, Maggot! Read!”
Dan looked down at the blue stationery and familiar handwriting. It was the only letter she’d written to date and, as far as he knew, the only time she had bared her soul to him or anyone in writing.
I know I should have written to you before now, but I needed time to think about what happened the night before you left and what you wrote to me afterwards. You were right that neither of us were thinking clearly that night in the pool house and we did things that we shouldn’t have. I’ve never allowed anyone to kiss me or touch me the way you did that night. I think it meant as much to you as it did to me. You can’t deny that.”
The entire platoon burst out laughing. Dan closed his eyes and prayed that he wouldn’t have to read further.
“Get on with it Mangan,” roared the Sergeant.
Dan continued to read Trixie’s words, describing how they shared something very special and whether it was romantic, a special friendship or just physical attraction. that it got out of hand; she understood his need to step back.
I cannot and will not forget what we shared. I think of you constantly, and pray for you daily. That will not change. But you need to know that I can’t continue to pursue a relationship . . .
The platoon’s laughter had quickly died. They thought Dan was reading a Dear John letter. Many had left girls at home and who knew who might be receiving the next letter like this.
“That’s enough, Mangan. Return to your position in the ranks.”
Dan hurried back into the ranks and stuffed the letter into his pack. If he’d been allowed to finish reading the letter, they would have known that she wasn’t breaking up with him. She was telling him that she had broken off her relationship with Jim Frayne—because of the way he made her feel. She understood his reluctance to get involved with her and she was making no demands of him—at least for now.
He stood and waited for the next order from the Sergeant.
Mart leaned against the frame of the doorway into his sister’s room. He had been home from camp for almost two days and Trixie had obviously been avoiding him. Diana insisted that Trixie was fine, but he had just been talking to Regan, who shared his confusion and concern about her reaction to his request that she accompany him to South Carolina. Mart had eagerly agreed to go to the graduation ceremonies with Regan, but knew he’d have a difficult time convincing Trixie to join them.
“You’ve certainly been elusive the past two days.”
Trixie turned around in her desk chair and faced her brother. “I’ve been working. And trying to learn all of this crap.” She pointed to large three-ring binder open on her desk. “I need to know almost every single thing in this book before I can work the radio.”
“That’s neat that you’ll be working dispatch.” Mart stepped into the room. “But it doesn’t leave you much time…”
“For a social life?” Trixie turned back around and pretended to be reading the 10-Code list. “This is much more important than anything else I might do on Saturday or Sunday evenings. You don’t need to worry about my social life.”
“You can still go to South Carolina with Regan and me.”
Trixie slammed the notebook shut. “I’m not going.”
“I think you should go...for yourself, if not for Dan.” Mart watched as his sister’s neck and then her face turned a deep rose color. He knew her well enough to know that it wasn’t anger that caused her to blush like that.
“I know that you think Dan would be pleased to see me there, but I know better. And I’ve decided to stay clear of him, and Jim, and any entanglements. You should go, even if I think it’s better for me to stay home. I’ll see him when he gets leave in November. End of discussion!”
“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”
“Cite Shakespeare all you want, Mart, but I’m not going.” Trixie stared at the wall for several moments, waiting for him to leave. “Shut the door on your way out. I need to study.”
Mart started to say something more but caught himself. Dan said he didn’t want to get involved with Trixie, even though he had strong feelings for her. Trixie was now insisting she didn’t want to get involved with either Jim or Dan. Entanglements. They both said they didn’t need entanglements, but this was the most tangled up mess he’d ever seen.
“Brainless, dim-witted, moronic idiots,” he mumbled as he left the room. “Absolute imbeciles!”
Friday September 15, 1967
Live from our newsroom in New York, it’s Walter Cronkite with the news...with Bernard Kalb reporting from Saigon…and Dan Rather in Washington, DC.
Good evening. Newly confirmed Supreme Court Justice Thurgood
Marshall, the first Negro to serve on the Court, prepares for his first session
when it is convened on October 2. An unnamed source at the Department of
Defense revealed that the four-day search and destroy mission launched by the
Marine Corps on September 4 has resulted in 114 American and 376 North
Vietnamese casualties.
Dan walked the narrow path, deep within the Wheeler’s vast preserve. It had been some time since he’d been in this area and, given how the lush vegetation had grown over the trail, he doubted anyone else had been here recently. He chuckled at the knowledge that he had found a place in the preserve where even Maypenny didn’t go.
The sun barely broke through the heavy canopy overhead, but Dan’s stride was quick and sure on the shaded path. He’d traveled it many times since he came to Sleepyside and it led to a place very special to him. It was the place where, sitting astride a fallen tree, he’d first accepted that he couldn’t change his past, but he could move beyond it. It was where he had returned many times, when he sought solitude or to ease the demons that haunted him.
He bent under a low hanging branch and, standing erect, he looked up to his special place. He stopped suddenly, surprised to find a young woman getting settled into a comfortable position on the tree, oblivious to his presence.
He stood for some time in silent reverence at her determination to climb up the log, but also trying to convince himself that she was not something he was imagining.
“How does she know about this place?” he asked himself. “How did she find it? And how did she know I want her to be here?”
She looked up at him and smiled.
“You came.”
“RISE AND SHINE, MAGGOTS!”
Dan moaned as he sat up, wondering why he had thought the Sergeant might give them any kind of break on graduation day.
“Out of those racks, Maggots.”
Dan and the other recruits jumped from their racks and stood at attention on the deck, squinting in the bright light. They waited as the Sergeant strutted past them in silence, hands locked behind his back, without speaking a word. He walked the entire length of the barracks, turned and walked back again, several times. He never stopped and never spoke. The only sound was the thumping of his boots on the deck and the nervous breathing of some of the recruits. The tension was obvious, even if not something that an outsider might touch or see, while they waited for the volcano to erupt.
Finally the Sergeant stopped, directly in front of Dan.
“You people are still maggots this morning. But today, you will become Marines.”
Regan pulled the sedan up to the gate and showed the graduation invitations to the young guard.
“There are signs that will direct you to the appropriate parking areas, sir.” The Marine gestured ahead as he handed them back.
“Thank you.” Regan put the car in gear and pulled away.
“Geez, roll up the window, Regan,” Mart admonished. “You can cut the humidity with a knife!” He glanced down at the map unfolded on his lap. “This has got to be the most God-forsaken place on earth. We drive for miles and miles through swamps...”
“Marshland.” Regan corrected. “Parris Island really is an island. Those were salt water marshes we drove through. And you might as well roll down your window, too. I doubt the Marine Corps provides air conditioning for the recruits. We’ll be out in this heat and humidity all day, so we might as well get used to it..”
Mart rolled down his window, thankful that Regan had borrowed a car from the Wheelers rather than driving his truck. While the truck was new, it didn’t have air conditioning and, if it were this hot and humid so early in the morning, they would definitely need it by the afternoon.
“Over there.” Mart pointed to a sign. “That’s Barrow Hall. We have to go there for the Morning Colors ceremony.”
Regan ignored his gesture and followed signs directing them to parking in the opposite direction. “I’m glad we drove down yesterday. I didn’t even think about there being a long back-up at the gate. But we’re still okay with time. The ceremony doesn’t start until 7:45.”
Mart and Regan had considered driving all night to save the cost of a room, but finally decided to come down a day early and stay overnight in nearby Beaufort. After the graduation ceremonies, they planned to visit with Dan before getting back on the road. They hoped to make it to Virginia that night and continue on to Sleepyside the next day. Dan would be leaving the next morning for Camp Geiger in North Carolina for Infantry Training Regiment.
Regan pulled into a parking space and the two men cracked the windows before locking the car and heading in the direction of Barrow Hall.
At exactly 08:00, the Colors were presented by a Color Guard as the Base Band played the National Anthem, followed by the Marine Corps Hymn. Regan and Mart stood in silent attention with other recruit families and Marine Corps officers. Regan had explained earlier that the ceremony was just for families, and Mart was surprised by the number of officers who joined them, including at least one General.
After the ceremony, they were directed to the Marine Exchange area where they could enjoy coffee and donuts or shop in the store. Having skipped breakfast, Mart headed straight to the table where a selection of donuts and pastries were displayed while Regan went into the store. Mart watched through the glass windows as Regan strolled slowly through the displays of clothing and articles bearing the familiar Eagle, Globe and Anchor emblem of the Corps, as well as catchy sayings. He grabbed a second donut and watched as Regan spoke to the sales clerk and then came out.
“Problem?” Mart asked when the older man joined him.
“No. Just looking for a decal or bumper sticker.”
“There are lots of them. I saw...”
“They all say, My Son or My Brother is a Marine, or... Proud Father... Nothing I can put on my truck.” Regan shrugged and turned. “Now where’s the coffee? I need some caffeine.”
Mart wandered through the Exchange while Regan got his coffee and then they followed the crowd out of the Exchange and towards the Peatross Parade Deck, where the actual graduation ceremony would be held. The Parade Deck was a paved area, larger than a football field, with viewing stands lining one side. Areas of the stands on each side of the Commanding General’s booth had been marked off for each of the platoons graduating that day. They were directed to an area marked off for Dan’s platoon.
Regan and Mart got settled and made small talk with those sitting around them. The woman sitting next to Mart indicated that her husband, brother and older son had all been through Parris Island. The son graduating today would be the fifth in her family to serve in the Corps. She was explaining that the recruits would have been up since well before dawn, undergoing a meticulous inspection as well as final instructions from their Drill Instructors, when the Base Band entered the field, playing the Marine Corps Hymn.
Regan pulled out his field glasses and watched as each platoon of recruits marched out onto the Parade Deck, watching for his nephew. Mart turned to the lady sitting next to them and asked why some were wearing the dark blue dress uniform while all the others graduates were in fatigues. She explained that a few of the graduates were awarded their dress blues as recognition for outstanding performance.
“My older boy was the Honor Man when he graduated.” The pride in her voice was palpable.
“There he is!” Regan jumped up and almost dropped the glasses. He pointed towards the group marching in. “He’s...he’s...look!” He handed the glasses to Mart and rapped him several times on the shoulder before pointing as the platoon proceeded around the Parade Deck. Mart had never seen him so excited. He had seen him angry often enough, but never like this.
“Look, Mart! Over there. He’s...he’s the one in the dress blues.” Mart took the glasses and focused in on the Platoon that had just entered the Parade Deck. One of the men was wearing dress blue uniform, but he didn’t look anything like Dan. Mart turned to Regan. “Are you sure? Are you sure that’s Dan?”
“Look again. I know he doesn’t look much like the scrawny kid who first came to Sleepyside, but that’s him. I’d know that smirk anywhere. He’s trying not to smile, but you can tell.”
Mart looked again as the platoon headed towards them. “Yeah, I guess it is.” He handed the glasses back. “Damn, he is…That is Dan in the Dress Uniform.” He turned to the lady again. “What did you call it? Honor Man?”
She nodded looking through her own field glasses for her own son, trying to hide her disappointment that he hadn’t received the rare honor. “Your friend obviously distinguished himself. You should be proud.”
After the graduation ceremony that included a good deal of ceremonial sword spinning, cannon-blasting, flag-waving, and solid, meaningful salutes, as well as the requisite marching in formation in final review past the Base Commander, the recruits were pronounced Marines and dismissed. Dan and the other recruits receiving honors joined the officers for the final review and he was able to get over to his uncle and friend while the other young Marines were still jogging across the deck.
Regan pulled his nephew into a big hug, almost knocking both of them over in his exuberance. They stood embracing, both unashamed of the tears that streamed down their faces.
“Honor Man? Expert Marksman? Promoted to PFC? What other honors did you get?” Mart asked once the other two men separated and Dan shook his hand.
“I didn’t know I’d earned anything until this morning.” Dan looked around as if distracted. “Well, I knew about the marksmanship qualification.” He paused and looked around again. “I didn’t know about getting the Honor Man Award or...no one knew about any of the honors until this morning.” He looked around again.
“I’m really proud of you.” Regan grabbed his nephew’s hand. “Really proud.”
Dan smiled, but still seemed distracted. He looked over at Mart.
“She didn’t come, Dan,” he said quietly. Mart knew exactly what—or rather who—Dan was looking for.
“What?” Dan grabbed Mart’s hand again and shook it. “I am so glad you came. Uncle Bill said he’d be here. Mr. Maypenny wasn’t sure he could make the long trip. But you are one hell of a good surprise.”
“She had school and work. She couldn’t get away.” Mart dropped his friend’s hand.
“Trixie? I knew she couldn’t come.” Dan wiped the sweat from his forehead and looked away. “I have the rest of the day to show you around. Maybe get a meal. I know you want to get out of this sun.”
“Is there any place we can go that’s air-conditioned?” Mart asked, not wanting to force the issue. This was Dan’s day and he wasn’t going to spoil it by mentioning his sister again. “How have you survived this heat?”
“The heat was nothing compared to some of the other sheh…” Dan censored himself. “The toughest thing was the gas chamber. That’s where they put you in this windowless room and, on order, you put on a gas mask and they pump the room full of tear gas. About one third of the guys get in there and panic when they turn on the gas. Some were so claustrophobic they couldn’t handle it before the gas. THEN you get to go in without the mask. I managed to keep my cool, but I don’t know how.
“As to the heat…there’s a reason they call this The Island That God Forgot.” Dan placed one hand on Mart’s shoulder and the other on his uncle’s and led them off, never mentioning Trixie or any of the other Bob-Whites again that afternoon.
Trixie parked Brian’s jalopy next to their mother’s station wagon, rubbed her eyes and yawned widely before getting out of the car. Working such late hours the past few weeks had been a challenge, but losing a few hours sleep was a small price to pay for the opportunity to do real police work. Of course, the real test would come once she started classes on Monday.
Maybe it wasn’t REAL police work, but, as a dispatcher, she was a critical lifeline for those who were doing the real work. It required the same dedication, quick reflexes and ability to stay calm and alert during crises that any patrolman needed. And she was having fun learning and using the 10-Codes, eavesdropping on the police chatter and sneaking peaks at the written reports.
And the money wasn’t bad, either.
She walked across the service porch, flipped off the light that had been left on for her, and went into the kitchen. Locking the door behind her, she went directly to the refrigerator to get some milk to warm.
“How’s the job going?”
“Mart!” Trixie almost dropped the heavy glass bottle. “What are you doing up?” She turned to her brother, who was standing in the doorway to the family room.
“Waiting for you. I wanted to visit and I’m sure you’ll be dead to the world when my ride gets here in...” He looked at the wall clock. “Five and a half hours.”
“Want some?” Trixie poured some milk into a pan. “Ride? Didn’t Diana come home with you?”
“No thanks.” Mart walked over and sat at the table. “It is Diana, but she has something important and needs to get back to school before noon.
Trixie placed the pan on a burner and turned to face her brother.
“So?” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned back against the counter. “What’s so urgent that Martin Belden would sacrifice sleep AND turn down sustenance?”
‘It’s not urgent. I slept most of the day so I’m still keyed up. ”
“Well, I know it’s not that you’re interested in my new job. Is it about…how was the graduation and all?” Regan had dropped off Mart shortly before dawn and, since he’d driven most of the trip, he’d gone directly to bed and was still asleep when Trixie left for work that afternoon.
“Good. Great. Dan got this big award and a promotion to PFC.”
“What’s PFC?” Trixie interrupted.
“Private First Class. Most of the graduates are just Private. He got the Marksmanship Award and this big recognition called Honor Man, along with the promotion. All the other graduates wore their regular uniforms, but Dan was wearing his dress blue uniform. I’ve never seen Regan so excited and proud. I barely recognized Dan. It’s amazing what a good haircut can do.” Mart rubbed his closely cropped head.
“I didn’t even think about that.” Trixie smiled. “Dan with a buzz cut. I bet he did look different. And he’s always been so vain about his hair!”
“They actually shave their heads when they arrive, but it’d grown out a little. Regan has his official portrait. You need to go up and look at it. Give him an opportunity to brag a little, too.”
“But you didn’t wait up to tell me they shaved Dan’s head.” Trixie turned and took the pan off the burner.
“No. No. Ah...Trixie...ah... I have some things to share and…ah…I think it’s past time for me to be honest with you. I want you to promise me you’ll not interrupt.”
Trixie stared out the window and onto the darkened porch, her reflection glaring back at her. She started to pour some milk into the mug she’d taken down from the cupboard, but stopped. “Why do you think I’ll interrupt?”
“Ah, Trix. When have you ever let me finish something you didn’t want to hear?” Mart waited for her to explode, but when she only shrugged her shoulders, he continued.
“He was looking for you, Trixie. Dan. I know he never directly asked you to attend, but it was pretty obvious he was disappointed when you weren’t there.”
“What did he say?”
“It’s not what he said. Hell! It’s not what you’ve actually said, either. You might think I’ve been too busy with school and Diana this past year to notice what’s been going on at home, but you’re my sister. He’s my best friend. And the two of you…You spent all this time together. Every time I come home you’re together. “
“We were the only Bob Whites left behind. We rode to school together. We took...” Trixie turned around to face her brother.
“You said you wouldn’t interrupt, Trixie.” Mart waited while she stepped back and leaned against the sink.
“It was as if you were doing some ridiculous ballet. All this denial and talk about not wanting entanglements is bullshit. Sorry,” Mart apologized. “I don’t know if it’s you’re afraid of hurting Jim...or afraid that Dan doesn’t feel the same for you...but he’s got it bad, Trixie. And fear of entanglements is crap. You both are totally entangled.”
“You don’t...”
“Drink your milk, Trixie. I’m not finished.” Mart waited while she poured some in the cup and set the pan in the sink. “Now come over here and sit down.”
Once she sat down across from him, Mart continued. “I know that you’re conflicted about your feelings for Jim. He’s a great guy and he loves you. But I also think you’re as much infatuated with,” Mart broke into a falsetto, “the most wonderful boy in the world.
“Brian and I have had our laughs over the years about that letter you wrote to us at camp, but he’s not a boy any more, Trixie. And he’s not perfect. Neither are you. You two...I think there’s much more to your telling Jim you need space than even you’re willing to admit.”
“Between a full load this semester and working at the PD...”
“You’re making excuses, Trixie.”
Trixie stared down into her mug. “Jim...He...I think it’s pretty much over with us.” She looked up at her brother. “How can you be so sure about Dan? About his feelings?”
Mart hesitated, remembering the evening eighteen months earlier when Dan had sat at this same table and made a difficult confession. It was a warm May evening when Mart had just returned from Cornell and Dan was finishing his first year at the Community College.
Mart had been surprised when Dan confessed that he had feelings, strong feelings, for Trixie. Dan explained that he had always accepted that Trixie was Jim's girl, but after the long hours they had spent together the past school year, Dan couldn't ignore his own feelings any longer. Fearful of what he might say or do, he was avoiding Trixie and the other Bob Whites.
“I don't know what to tell you, Dan.” Mart took a long swig of cold lemonade. “I guess we've always thought Trixie and Jim would be together.” He drank some more before continuing. “But lately...”
“She's not happy with Jim. She hasn't been for some time. Does she seem happy to you?”
“I've been away for nine months.”
“She's grown this year. Matured.”
“Can't argue that.”
“Damn, Mart. Every girl I take out, I compare to your sister, and they all fall short.”
“I'm her brother. I know Trixie's special.”
The two young men sat silently, sipping lemonade.
“Jim would kill me if he knew how I feel.” Dan finally broke the silence.
Mart stared at his friend for a long time before responding. “You're not going to tell him how you feel, are you?”
“Oh, shit, Mart. I should never have told you all this.” Dan began to apologize. “I mean, you're her brother.”
“And YOUR best friend. Who else would you talk to?”
At that time, Mart hadn’t thought to ask Trixie what she felt. But a year ago, he knew she would have insisted she was in love with Jim and only friends with Dan. So he had watched three people he cared about suffer. Yes, they all were suffering.
“Dammit, Trixie. He said as much some time ago. But he wasn’t going to risk his friendship with Jim or pursue you if…but I can see right now by the look on your face that you do care for Dan. Do me a favor…no, do yourself a favor and stop denying there’s something between the two of you. Dan’s not going to be around here, distracting you from your studies or work. But he might as well be sitting at this table with us banging a drum, for the way he’s affecting you.”
Mart stood up. “I can’t force you to do anything. But as your almost twin, I think I have the right to tell you when you’re acting stupid. And stupid doesn’t even touch how you and Dan are acting.”
Trixie sat and watched as he headed up the back stairs. Mart always cringed when she called him almost twin, but tonight…she might not know for certain how she felt about Dan, but she knew it hadn’t been easy for her almost twin to say the things he had. The least he deserved was for her to try to confront her feelings.
Dan followed the other Marines as they filed off the bus. As a two-year enlistee, he had very limited options for training and wasn’t surprised when he’d been assigned to the Infantry, MOS 0300, Rifleman. A Grunt. After four weeks of Infantry Training Regiment, he’d remain at Camp Geiger, part of the Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune complex, for additional preparation for the jungles of Southeast Asia. He wasn’t alone. The vast majority of the newly minted Marines would be in Vietnam within months, if not weeks. Dan had known this when he enlisted, but he’d decided to risk thirteen months of combat in exchange for postponing the rest of his life for two years instead of four. There was a remote possibility that his recognition as Honor Man might earn him an assignment other than Vietnam. At least, that was what he kept telling himself.
He followed the other men across the parking lot to where two Sergeants waited.
“Welcome to Camp Geiger, Marines!”
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