Chapter 4
The First Cut is the Deepest
But if you want I'll try to love again
Baby I'll try to love again but I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
Trixie was too busy over the next week to talk to any of the other Bob-Whites. She only spoke to Dan on the phone once, to cancel a pre-arranged Sunday morning ride. Mart left for Camp Inwood early Friday morning, in preparation for the arrival of the first group of campers on Sunday. Diana started her summer job at the Historical Society on Monday and was busy there. Brian came home from the city on Friday, but brought his new girlfriend, Jeanne. A nurse at the same hospital where he was working for the summer, she was the first girl he’d introduced to his family since his sophomore year at Columbia. All of the Beldens, especially Trixie, were busy getting acquainted with the young woman and celebrating Father’s Day. Trixie was taking Brian and Jeanne to the train station when Jim called at their regular time Sunday evening and, still seething over how their last conversation had ended, Trixie didn’t call back. She did try to call Honey at the penthouse one evening, but was told by the maid that Miss Madeleine was in San Francisco for an extended stay.
When Trixie returned to work on Monday morning, she finally got a real assignment—one that required spending long hours in the basement of the county courthouse, searching for files. The next four days were spent searching through musty boxes and relying on the cross-county bus system to get her back and forth to White Plains, since neither Brian nor her parents trusted his Nash Rambler on any trips greater than back and forth into Sleepyside. She returned home late each evening, tired, sweaty, covered in dust, and thankful she wasn’t allergic to mold. She had noticed lights on at Manor House, but was too exhausted to investigate. Since Honey and Jim had graduated from high school, the Wheelers spent most of their time in New York City, but it wasn’t unusual for them to make unexpected visits to their country home.
Finally, after four long and miserable days, she found the right box, or rather, the right stack of file boxes. It was right before 5:00 p.m. and quitting time, but she’d been so excited at her discovery that she lost track of the time reading reports and looking at gruesome crime scene photos. She was trying to decipher an autopsy report when a Security Guard surprised her, and advised that she needed to leave. Immediately.
She set the files aside until she could make arrangements to move them to the Sleepyside PD and walked with the guard up to the main entrance. Seeing that it was dark outside, she realized that she had missed the last bus back to Sleepyside. The Security Guard waited while she called Crabapple Farm from the lobby pay phone, but no one answered. Crossing her fingers, she called Diana, who was home and more than willing to come out in her brand new Mercury Cougar XR7, despite the pouring rain and late hour. Trixie then waited outside, unsuccessfully trying to stay dry under an overhang, until Diana pulled up.
Diana’s broad smile quickly disappeared when Trixie got in the car and began dripping grey water onto the creamy white leather seats and plush carpeting.
“I’m sorry, Di. Those files are so dusty, and then when I got wet, the dust… I’ll clean your car for you,” Trixie quickly offered.
“Don’t be silly, Trixie.”
“You’ve only had it a month…and you came all this way in the rain. The least I can do…”
“Hush. I’m happy to put some miles on it. Daddy wants it broken in before I take it on the open road and I am not heading back to Binghamton without it! Could you try to find another station on the radio? This storm is interfering with reception. See what you can get on FM.”
Trixie leaned over for a closer look at the radio. “FM? You have an AM-FM radio with dual speakers? Neat! This car is so terrific, Di.” She tried to figure out how to switch to FM and then started turning the dial until she found a station playing rock and roll. “Oh, wow! Listen to that sound. Beautiful!”
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me!” Trixie bounced to the rhythm and sang.
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Take care o’ TCP!” Diana laughed and sang along with her until the end of the song.
“I love that song!” Trixie sat back in the bucket seat and rubbed the soft leather. “This is much nicer than Honey’s Mustang.”
“I wanted a Mustang, but Daddy wanted something bigger and heavier, that he thought would be safer. Then Mercury came out with this and… it looks a lot like a Mustang, don’t you think?”
“Hard to tell the difference outside, but inside… definite luxury!”
“I hate flaunting our money, but when Daddy talked about buying me a car, all I could think about was how much easier it will be to see Mart when we’re at school. Binghamton is only about fifty miles from Ithaca, but it’s almost impossible to get back and forth without a car. Now…”
“Now, what, Di? You can visit every day?”
Diana glanced over at Trixie and smiled. “Well… maybe not every day. We do have classes and need to study.”
Diana had been dating Trixie’s brother since the two girls were in ninth grade and Mart was in tenth. She had been disconsolate their senior year of high school when Mart had been away at Cornell University. Diana had wanted to attend Cornell with Mart, but was denied admission there as well as nearby Ithaca College. Binghamton had been her fallback and she hadn’t been happy with the fifty mile separation. Diana admitted openly that she would quit college in a heartbeat if Mart asked her to marry him. Her father had taken over a decade to earn his college degree, working and going part-time, and her mother only had a high school education. They both were insistent that their oldest child have all the advantages her father’s self-made fortune could provide, especially college.
“Mother made me promise I’d complete at least two years of college. I’m hoping that next year, well, maybe then we can get married. We could live in Ithaca and I’d commute or I’d just quit school and work. But Mart wants to get his degree first and then find a job and…it’ll be forever until we get married. I don’t want to wait that long.”
“Mart loves you. That’s for certain. He just has some male chauvinist ideas that he should support you and not the other way around. But I think you should finish your degree, too.”
“I know that, but I can go to school and be married. I have money.”
“Live off of your trust fund? Mart would hate that idea!”
“Oh, Trixie. Your brother can be so stubborn. I don’t want that money any more than he does, but if it means we can be married... I even suggested we just live together and share expenses until he graduates. I just don’t want to wait forever.”
Trixie stared out the window. “It’s more complicated than that, with Jim… I mean. He doesn’t want to wait at all. He wants to get married and he’s not willing to wait until I graduate.” She turned back to her friend. “No one really understands how much I want my degree… and that I want it from John Jay! Jim seems to think I should marry him, move to Boston and study at a school there. Why should I turn down the best Police Science program in the country?”
“I understand how much you want to go to John Jay, even if I want something different.” Diana slowed to turn into the Crabapple Farm driveway and pulled up beside the service porch. She put the gearshift into Park and turned to face Trixie.
“Mart told me that Jim asked you to get married and you turned him down.” She placed her hand up when Trixie started to protest. “Stop! Jim didn’t go and tell Mart; Mart asked him outright and he wouldn’t answer at first. I guess Mart was pretty persuasive. I understand why you said no. I can study art at almost any college and I don’t have career ambitions like you do. I understand why Jim doesn’t want a long distance relationship, but that doesn’t mean I think you should move to Boston. I think you are smart not to go to Boston. You can make it work for two years.” She laughed. “But you gotta love Jim for being so… so…”
“Honorable?” Trixie offered.
“I was thinking persistent, but, yeah. Honorable. He loves you. You can’t deny that. I trust that you two will work it out. Speaking of which, when’s he coming home?”
“I have no idea. I hung up on him the last time he called.”
Diana laughed. “Okay. Maybe you won’t work it out. I know you can’t really talk to Honey about Jim, but I’m always here for you, Trixie, and I have nothing but time this summer. My job at the historical society is only part-time, and it’s going to be a long summer with Mart up at that camp. He promised this will be the last summer he works there, but the Assistant Director’s pay was too good. Any time you need to talk or just sing about R-E-S-P-E-C-T, I’m available.” She reached across the center console and hugged her friend.
“Yuck! You’re wet!” She pulled away.
“I’m sorry I dripped on your new carpet. At least the seat is leather.” Trixie reached for the door handle. “Di, I can’t wait until you really are my sister. I just hope that Jim and I can find a way to be as happy as you and Mart.”
“You will, Trixie. Now, run! The rain has let up a bit!”
Trixie jumped out of the car and ran for the service porch. She turned to wave as she stepped through the door, just in time to see Dan’s red Valiant go up Glen Road with someone in the passenger seat. She couldn’t tell for certain in the dark, but it looked like Honey. Trixie couldn’t wait to call her friend to see why she’d cut her visit to San Francisco short.
Dirty, cold and wet, Trixie showered and changed before taking the upstairs phone and sitting on the hallway floor to call Manor House. She let it ring several times before hanging up. There was no mistaking the distinctive shape of Dan’s 1961 Valiant, but with the rain and dark, she couldn’t be certain it was Honey riding with him. She next called Regan’s apartment to grill Dan, but the phone there also went unanswered. Trixie then headed downstairs for a late supper and quickly forgot the urgent need to talk to Honey.
“I can’t believe I’m missing a chance to see James Bond. This better not be some chick flick.” Dan held open the heavy glass door and Honey stepped into the cool air of the Tarrytown Music House lobby.
“Did you really want to drive all the way over to White Plains, stand in a long line in this rain, and then pay three times more?” Honey asked, as he followed her inside.
“I thought all you girls swoon over Sean Connery.” Dan took Honey’s arm and directed her to the ticket booth line.
“I was swooning when my parents took me to see Robert Redford in the Broadway production of this. I can’t wait to see him on screen; he was so gorgeous in Daisy Clover.” Honey laughed.
“I don’t think he’s my type. Didn’t he play a…” Dan lifted his hand and let it fall limply.
“Dan!” She slapped his shoulder. “That’s… that’s insensitive. And, besides, he was acting! Jane Fonda’s in this movie, too, you know. She wasn’t in the play, but she’s pretty sexy. You’ll enjoy watching her.”
“Yeah, but I bet I’d enjoy seeing Mie Hama a lot more. Have you seen her?” Dan wiggled his eyebrows. “She’s the new Bond Girl and she is hot! H-O-T! Hot!”
“I’m just glad you suggested a movie. There were so many to choose from, maybe we can see You Only Live Twice another evening.”
“And I think we both could benefit from seeing a good comedy.” He pulled his wallet from his back pocket and stepped up to the window.
“Let me, Dan. I should pay since I chose.”
“You can buy the popcorn. Just don’t forget that I like butter; lots of butter.”
Honey didn’t respond. She had turned around to look at the poster advertising the upcoming release of a new movie. “Look Dan, Bonnie and Clyde is finally being released. You’ve said you wanted to see it when…”
Dan took the two tickets from the attendant and turned around. “Coming in August,” he read aloud. “I guess I’ll miss it.”
“You will?” Honey asked, then quickly realized why. “Oh.”
“I’ll probably be at Parris Island by then, but I’ll see it sometime. I bet it won’t be at the Cameo for months after the release. Now, where’s that popcorn? Extra large; extra butter!” The two friends headed towards the concession stand.
After purchasing a large tub of buttered popcorn as well as sodas, Dan and Honey found seats and waited for the movie to begin. Honey leaned back in the seat, took a sip of her drink, and closed her eyes.
Dan had kept Honey busy for most of the past week with early morning horseback rides, taking her along when he ran errands—some for his uncle and others he’d made up as an excuse just to get her out—and dinner with his Uncle Bill one evening. Honey was wise to his efforts but appreciated them and went along. While she sometimes broke into tears with no apparent provocation, she frequently thanked Dan for the diversions he’d provided.
She’d shared with Dan that she did not want to see anyone, including Trixie. No one in Sleepyside except Dan, his uncle, and the household staff knew Honey was staying there. Dan knew that Trixie would be sympathetic and supportive, but she also would be angry and emotional, feeding Honey’s pain, and, despite his loyalties to Trixie, he had complied with Honey’s request. When he’d suggested they see a movie, she had recommended Barefoot in the Park, and Dan knew that its playing in Tarrytown, and not in Sleepyside, had played a part in her choice.
Dan had wondered if a romantic comedy was the best choice for his friend, but, halfway through the movie, he glanced over and saw Honey laughing. Yes, this was good.
Honey enjoyed herself that evening and was feeling better than she had since returning from California when Dan dropped her off. They agreed to see the Bond movie when he returned from Albany. She went through the downstairs rooms, turning off lights and humming to herself, and thinking she might bake some cookies for Dan the next day. She headed into the kitchen to check the pantry and was getting a glass of milk when the phone rang. Without thinking, she grabbed the handset off the wall phone next to the refrigerator.
“Wheeler residence.” She set the heavy bottle on the counter and closed the refrigerator door with her knee.
“Honey! Finally! Why haven’t you returned my calls?”
“Chip?”
“I’ve been calling the apartment in New York and leaving messages. I finally spoke to your mother who gave me the number in Sleepyside. Why are you there?”
“You what?” Honey stretched the phone cord over to the table and sat down. “My mother?” Honey moaned. “What did you tell my mother?”
“Don’t worry. I didn’t say anything about our misunderstanding. I just said I was checking to see if you’d arrived safely.”
Honey choked, trying to keep back the tears. “Misunderstanding?”
“It was. Honey, it was just… you don’t understand. I was… you said you weren’t coming.”
“Misunderstanding?” Honey repeated in a raised voice. “That’s what you call it? Oh, no. I understand perfectly. I understand that you didn’t think I was coming so you hopped into bed with… with a dirty, skanky, shriveled—she was disgusting, you know. I got a very good look at all of her and she was hideously ugly and gross.”
“But I… I… I want to see you and apologize and…”
“Well, I don’t want to see you. EVER!” Honey tossed the handset across the room. It hit the bottle, shattering it and spilling milk and broken glass down the side of the cabinet and onto the floor. “Dammit! Now what?” She went over and picked up the phone. The handset was cracked but appeared to be working so she placed it back into the cradle and headed to the walk-in pantry to look for rags, broom and dustpan.
“Dammit, dammit, dammit!” She swore with each step. “How dare? How could? Damn him. Damn him. Damn him.”
She banged her head on a pantry shelf when leaning down to pick up the dustpan and began sobbing uncontrollably. She fell down onto the floor, first sitting, then laying down, beating her fists and kicking the floor until exhaustion won over and she fell asleep. She awoke some time later and staggered upstairs, ignoring the mess she’d made. After tossing and turning for some time, she remembered that her mother kept sleeping pills in her bathroom medicine cabinet. She took one, crawled back into bed, and slept soundly until several mowers outside her window awakened her. Wondering why the lawn care company was there so early, she pulled a pillow over her head without looking at the clock on her nightstand. She slowly realized it was late, but her head pounded and she didn’t have the strength to get out of bed. Besides, she had no reason to get up.
“Honey? What are you doing here?”
“Go ‘way.” Honey squeezed the pillow around her head, trying to block out the light and sound.
“Honey? Are you okay?”
“Jim?” Honey took the pillow away from her face and sat up. “What are you doing here?”
Her brother came into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, his concern obviously greater than any prior animosity. Reaching up to touch her forehead, he smiled. “I thought I’d take a long weekend and surprise Trixie. Looks like I surprised you. Are you sick?”
“I’m...” Honey hesitated. She didn’t want to lie, but there was no way she could tell Jim what had happened the prior evening. “I feel awful. I’ve been in bed all morning.”
“You’re not warm. Have you eaten?” Jim got up and went into the adjacent bathroom. “Where do you keep your thermometer? I know you have one.”
“In the vanity drawer. There’s a tray…” Finally waking up fully, Honey began to panic. How would she explain her recent behavior to Jim and her parents? She knew her mother would be anxious after Chip’s call and Jim would find out about the broken phone—if he hadn’t already—and expect an explanation.
“Got it!”
She listened to the water running as Jim rinsed off the thermometer.
“Big brother is here to take care of you,” he said as he came back into the room, shaking down the mercury. “We’ll make sure there’s no fever and then I’ll see if I can find something for you to eat. Open up.” He sat back down on the bed and stuck the glass tube into his sister’s mouth.
“You look awful. No, I’m sorry. Never tell a lady she looks awful.” He winked at her. “I mean it’s obvious you don’t feel well. Why are you out here all by yourself? I thought you were staying in the city and taking a class or two in summer school.” He glanced at his watch.
“Don’t try to talk.” He sat and waited, checking his watch a few times then, finally, reading the thermometer. “No fever.” He stood up. “Now, would you like something to eat or drink?”
Honey turned and hung her feet over the side of the bed. “I can go downstairs.”
“Are you sure? I can bring something up. Cook might already have something prepared for you.”
“Positive. It’s just a… a twenty-four hour thing. I’m feeling a little better already. I’ll shower and then go down for some breakfast.”
“It’s afternoon.”
Honey laughed nervously. “Lunch, then. Don’t bother Cook. I can make it myself.” Honey walked into the bathroom and shut the door. She quickly turned on the shower and offered a silent prayer that Cook had cleaned up the mess in the kitchen and Jim would maintain his cheerful mood. She’d figure out something to tell her mother later.
Jim waited until he heard the water running in the shower. He set the thermometer on the dresser, grabbed his suitcase from where he’d left it in the hall, and headed over to his room. He was certain that something was seriously wrong with his sister and it wasn’t the flu.
“It had better not be that SOB, Lloyd. If he’s done something to Honey, I’ll kick his…” Jim tossed the satchel onto his bed and headed downstairs. He was going to make a few phone calls that he didn’t want Honey to hear and the best place would be their father’s office.
Jim jogged down the stairs, turned and almost ran into Celia Delanoy. Celia had been part of the original household staff when his parents bought Manor House, later marrying the family chauffer, Tom Delanoy. They had lived on the property until they learned they were expecting their first child. They then moved into town and, shortly thereafter, Tom had opened his own auto repair shop and Celia had resigned to be a full-time mother. Celia now only worked when the Wheelers hosted large parties or events.
“Jim, what a pleasant surprise!”
“Celia!” Jim glanced down at her protruding belly. “I didn’t know you were working here today! And baby number two is on the way? Congratulations!”
“Thank you.” She rubbed her protruding stomach and stepped back. “Constance is visiting her family in British Honduras so Cook called and asked that I help out while Honey is here.” She held up the bottle of furniture polish and rag. “Just doing a quick run-through. I can’t do anything heavy, as you can see.”
“Where’s TJ?”
“Helping his daddy at the garage,” Celia laughed. “Tom’s mother usually watches him when I work, but she had a doctor’s appointment, so Tom took him for the day. You should go by and see Tom while you’re here. He misses all the Bob-Whites.” She turned to go into the front parlor. “And you need to let Cook know you’re here, too. I don’t think she knew you were coming.”
Jim walked up the hall and into the kitchen. He started to call out for Cook when he saw the broken wall phone and went over to get a closer look.
Cook came out of the pantry just as he lifted up the headset. “I came down this morning and it was broken. I taped it together the best I could. Would you like me to call the phone company for a replacement?”
Jim rolled the receiver in his hands while he considered what he was seeing and hearing. “Do you have any idea how this happened?” He set it back in the cradle.
“No. It was fine when I went upstairs last evening and cracked in half when I came down this morning.” She didn’t mention the milk and glass she’d found, too. “I suppose Miss Honey might have tried to use it and dropped it? She was out last night with Regan’s nephew and came in after I’d retired for the evening.” There was worry in her voice. “It may not be my concern, but I don’t believe Miss Honey has been feeling well.”
“I just spoke to her.” Jim stared out the window for a while, wondering what was wrong with his sister. “I’m sorry. Would you mind calling the phone company?” He hung up the phone and headed towards his father’s office. He needed to make those calls.
Jim’s first call was to his parents, but the maid at their penthouse advised him that they had just left for London. Jim had forgotten about the business trip, even though his father had mentioned it when they talked the prior weekend. He thought about calling Trixie, but he didn’t want to bother her at her summer job and he still hoped to surprise her that evening. Realizing that if Dan had been with Honey the prior evening, he might know what was going on, Jim headed over to the stable complex.
He jogged across the lawn and past the long building towards the offices at the far end. Just as he got to the end of the building, he heard Dan saying something about Honey. He glanced around the corner and stepped back. Dan and Regan were standing outside Regan’s office talking.
“Honey and I aren’t dating or anything, Uncle Bill.”
“You need to be careful.” Jim couldn’t hear what Regan was saying. “Vulnerable.” Jim leaned forward, trying to hear the rest of Regan’s warning. Was Honey vulnerable? And why? He knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop, but he wanted to learn what was wrong with Honey, and it appeared that Dan and Regan were discussing exactly what he needed to know.
“I know that. She is vulnerable. She always has been, really, the Bob-Whites have protected her. Then she started seeing this hippie guy almost as soon as she got to Barnard and I think he really sold her a bill of goods. Trixie spent the entire school year trying to get her to see the truth, but she was…” Jim couldn’t hear the rest so he leaned forward.
“That’s when I found her passed out drunk in her father’s office. She made me promise not to tell anyone about that or why she came back from San Francisco. I’ve been trying to keep her occupied—give her some time to heal or whatever, but I don’t think she should be alone too much, either. She doesn’t want anyone to know, but she found him in bed with someone—she called her a skank!” Dan and Regan both laughed. “You don’t have to worry, Uncle Bill. I’m not putting the make on her or anything, but she doesn’t need to be drowning her sorrows again.”
“I think Trixie and Di are better suited for this, but she said… her words were that she didn’t need anyone fawning over her… so I agreed to not say anything. But I don’t think she should be alone. She certainly doesn’t need to finish off any more of her father’s liquor cabinet. I’ve been trying to get her to call Trixie, but she said last night she’s still not ready to face anyone else. Her parents are headed to Europe. I’d call Jim… but you know Jim would be judgmental. Look at how he’s treated her since he found out…”
“Found out what?”
“Nothing. He just saw through that hippie boyfriend before any of the rest of us and…”
Jim couldn’t hear Regan’s response, but as he heard Dan explain the cause of Honey’s distress, what was initially concern slowly morphed into hurt and anger. He had tried to warn Honey about Chip Lloyd, but she’d refused to listen. Because he’d gotten angry instead of trying to reason with her, he’d alienated her. She was afraid to confide in her own brother. She’d even avoided Trixie—probably because she feared Trixie would tell him.
He was further upset to know that she’d confided in Dan instead of him. He already feared he was losing Trixie to his friend, and now it appeared he might also lose Honey.
And all because of his priggish self-righteous behavior and explosive temper.
He turned and stormed back across the lawn, ready to resolve his problems with his sister and confront her about her lack of trust. He knew he needed to be tender and sympathetic, but he wanted to pummel Chip Lloyd. He started to open the kitchen door when he saw Honey, sitting on a kitchen stool, holding the phone headset and crying. Realizing he had to calm down or he would only make the situation worse, he turned away, looking for a place go. Seeing the freshly mowed trail that led to Ten Acres, he headed that way, hoping he’d find some answers in his private sanctuary.
Shortly after the adopting Jim, Matt Wheeler had arranged for the ruins of the Ten Acres mansion to be cleared and the outbuildings stabilized until Jim was old enough to make decisions about his inheritance. It wasn’t long before the quiet hilltop had become Jim’s favorite retreat when he needed a tranquil place to think.
Jim sat in the shade of what he had dubbed his thinking tree; an ancient sycamore tree that was probably planted by Isaac Frayne, the original owner of what would become Ten Acres. He leaned back against its broad trunk, watching the puffy cumulus clouds drift by and contemplating what he had just learned. He knew he was blessed to have found adoptive parents who appreciated the importance of maintaining his Frayne identity and preserving the loving relationship he’d had with his natural parents, while providing him with unconditional love and acceptance of their own. He had kept the Frayne surname, but often didn’t correct people who called him Jim Wheeler. He accepted that it could be confusing and he was proud to be Madeleine and Matthew Wheeler’s son, too.
He was also proud to be Honey Wheeler’s big brother, and felt a strong sense of responsibility for and protectiveness toward her. He’d been devastated when he learned how seriously she was involved with Chip Lloyd. He’d been angry at Chip for taking advantage of Honey’s trusting nature and naiveté, but he’d turned his fury on her. He had tried to apologize several times since their confrontation on New Year’s Eve, but each time he only deepened the rift between them. Now that he’d learned that she’d been betrayed by Chip, he needed to resist his instincts to lash out again. He wanted to heal Honey’s pain, as well as their troubled relationship.
He sat on the grassy knoll, listening to the wind rustling the trees, calming himself and rehearsing exactly what he would say to his beloved sister. Finally, he stood and headed back through the woods that separated the two estates, praying that she’d accept him back into her life. Just as he reached the edge of the expansive lawn of Manor House, he saw Honey getting into the back of a cab. He took off running and calling out, but if Honey saw him, she did not stop the cab.
She was gone.
Jim was waiting outside of the Sleepyside Police Department when Trixie got off on Friday. Their heated phone conversation of the prior week was forgotten the minute they saw each other. Jim didn’t mention anything about Honey to Trixie since it had been obvious from Dan and Regan’s conversation that she knew nothing and he didn’t want to involve her until he learned more. He’d tried calling Honey at the city apartment, but she’d refused to take his call. At least he was assured she was staying there. He’d decided to spend Saturday in Sleepyside and to head into the City either late that evening or first thing Sunday morning to deal with his sister. Something was seriously wrong and he was determined to find out what it was.
Dan would be heading up to Albany for his physical and formal induction into the Marines on Monday morning. Trixie had convinced Mart to make a quick trip home from Camp Inwood so that he and Diana could join Jim, Dan and her for an impromptu gathering. They had agreed to have a cook-out at Crabapple Farm, followed by a game of miniature golf at the course that had just opened off the Peekskill Parkway.
Since their parents already had plans for the evening and Bobby was staying overnight with a friend, Mart and Trixie made the burgers and salads and had everything ready ahead of time. Diana arrived with desserts and she and Mart were busy in the kitchen, pretending to be working, but mostly making up for their week-long separation. Reciting the adage about three’s company, Trixie went out to the patio to start the charcoal and wait for the others. She was starting to doze in a lounge chair when Dan came around the corner of the house and stepped through the back gate.
“Hey, Freckles. Long time no see.”
“Dan!” Trixie jumped up. “Where the heck HAVE you been all week?”
When Dan turned away and failed to reply, she remembered that she never found out who she saw riding in his car on Thursday evening.
“By the way, who was that I saw with you on Thursday night?”
“Thursday?” Dan pretended to be checking the charcoal. “This is almost ready, Trixie. Where are the burgers?”
“Dan!” Trixie walked over and touched his shoulder. “I asked you a question. A direct question. Two days ago I saw you driving up Glen Road and…”
“You need to get the burgers, Trix.” Dan picked up a pair of prongs and turned a few briquettes. “The fire is ready.”
“Dan, who was that in your car?”
“Trix, I haven’t had a date in weeks. Why would I have a girl in my car?”
“Daniel Mangan. You are the worst liar in the history of mankind. I never said it was a girl in your car. But it was. I thought it was Honey, but she’s in San Francisco, so who was it?” Trixie paused for a moment and then grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around. “It was Honey, wasn’t it? So where is she? And why isn’t she here? And Jim knows, too, doesn’t he? He’s been a little… little distant all day. What is going on?”
“Trix…” Dan pleaded. “I can’t…”
“You can’t what? Is something wrong with Honey? If there is and you don’t tell me… what happened in San Francisco? It’s Chip, isn’t it? What did he do?”
Dan led Trixie over to the lounge chair, pushed her down and then sat beside her. “She doesn’t want anyone to know. I told her that you’d figure it out, but she’s… And, as far as I know Jim is clueless.” Dan took a deep breath. “She did break up with Chip. You’ll have to get the details from Honey. Oh, Trix, I found her passed out in her father’s office.”
“Passed out?”
“Drunk. Apparently she’d finished off a bottle of her dad’s bourbon. She told me what happened and she came out here to be alone… she didn’t want any of us around. I just happened to find her. I knew she did not need to be alone. I… I tried to get her to call you and she refused. I was really worried about her, so I’ve been trying to keep her busy.”
“You know what happened?”
“As much as she shared. She’s trying to act like she’s okay, and she seemed to be doing better, but she must not be. I tried to not leave her alone and just be… well, not to force her to talk or call you or anything. Just to be company until she was ready to talk. I was planning to take you aside some time tonight and have you call her, Trix, but something happened and she took off for New York yesterday. I’ve been calling all day and she finally took my call right before I came down. She didn’t sound good. I don’t know why she took off so quickly yesterday.”
“Is it Jim? Do you think they had another fight?”
“No. She saw Jim before she left and said he was really sweet to her without knowing anything, but she just didn’t want lie to him or pretend to be sociable. But I think there’s more than that.”
Trixie sat quietly processing what Dan had said. “You’ve been taking care of her?”
“I wouldn’t call it that. Just keeping an eye out, keeping her company. But I’m afraid I screwed up.”
“No Dan. I’ll bet you were exactly what she needed. You can be… Oh, Dan!” Trixie wrapped her arms around him. “You are so wonderful.” Not knowing what to do, Dan placed his arms around her.
“I tried, Trix. I hope I didn’t screw up.”
Trixie rested her head on his chest. “You’d never… we need to find out what’s going on.” Trixie reached up and kissed his cheek before pulling away.
“I could bean you… both of you, for not telling me… but I know I would have just made things worse. I know you probably said all the right things and…”
“I don’t know.” Dan shook his head. “I hate deceiving people and I felt like… Jim came by the stables twice today. I don’t want to betray Honey, but he needs to know.”
“No, no! I understand.” Trixie wiped the tears from her eyes.
“I’m not going to be around the next few days. She’s going to need you. And Jim...”
Trixie wrapped her arms around him again. “Oh, Dan. You’re the best… I love you so.”
Jim stood at the gate, watching as Trixie wrapped her arms around Dan and then kissed him, unable to believe what he was seeing and wondering what was going on between the two of them. When Trixie wrapped her arms around the other young man a second time, he turned and left, convinced that he had lost both his sister and his special girl in less than twenty-four hours.
Mart had Diana pinned against the front of the kitchen sink, “rewarding” her for making lemon meringue pie for dessert. “Mmmm…how did you know lemon meringue is my favorite?”
“It is? I asked our cook to teach me to make a pie… I thought your favorite was… Mart. I, Mart… someone might come… I hear tires on the driveway gravel. It must be Jim or Dan.” Diana pushed him away and looked out the window. “No one there. I swear I heard…” She shrugged. “Get the platter of burgers out of the fridge. Trixie’s waiting.”
Diana grabbed a bowl off the kitchen table and went out the patio door. “Dan!” She greeted their friend, thinking it was his car she had heard.
Once the burgers were ready and the table loaded with bowls of salads and condiments, the four friends began to wonder what might have happened to Jim, so Trixie went inside to call. Just as she started to pick up the kitchen phone, it rang.
Regan had just returned from a short ride when he saw Jim leave the house and toss his suitcase into the back seat of his car. Not having had a chance to speak all weekend, Regan trotted over to suggest Jim join him for a ride in the morning.
“Jim! Would you like to join me for a ride tomorrow?” Seeing the fierce look on Jim’s face, he stopped. “Something wrong?”
Jim got into the car. “I’m… I need to go into the City and then I’ll head back up to Boston from there tomorrow.” Jim started up the car and pulled the door shut.
“Jim, is there something I can do?”
“Yeah, call down to Crabapple Farm for me and tell them I’m not coming.” Jim looked back over his shoulder and started to back up, then took off down the driveway.
Regan watched, wondering if he should call Matt Wheeler, since it appeared that both of his children were troubled. But first he needed to call down to Crabapple Farm. Perhaps the other Bob-Whites would know what was bothering Jim.
Dan had followed Trixie into the kitchen. He was starting to suggest they go to look for Jim, when the phone rang.
“Regan!” Trixie answered the phone and Dan walked over when he heard it was his uncle.
“He did. No, he was fine this afternoon when we went into town. But he has been quieter than usual. Wait, Dan wants to talk to you.”
Dan took the phone from her and talked for some time to his uncle, finally agreeing that the Regan should call the Wheelers; although he insisted that his uncle not give details… just describe Jim and Honey’s behavior as odd. They ended the conversation with Regan promising to call back after he got through to Matt Wheeler.
Dan hung up the phone and turned to see Trixie staring out the kitchen window. “You okay?”
Trixie stood with her back to him, shaking her head. She reached up to wipe tears with the back of her hand. “Could you get me a tissue?” she choked out.
Dan looked around and seeing no tissue box, he grabbed a dish towel and handed it to her.
“My best friend’s suffering. My boy… her brother is too. And they don’t want me to help. Honey! Honey wouldn’t confide in me. We’ve never kept secrets…” She took the towel from Dan and wiped her eyes, then ran some water over it and wiped her face. “I never see Brian at all. The first time he comes home in months and he’s got a girlfriend I’ve never met. Mart and Diana spend all their time together. At least you were still… and now… now… you’re… The Bob-Whites are… we’re falling apart.”
Standing behind her Dan wrapped his arms around her waist. “Oh, no, Trix. We’re growing up and scattering but…”
Trixie turned around and embraced Dan. They stood silently for some time. “I’m going to New York, too.”
“I’d take you, but we have to come back tonight. I have to leave tomorrow… my physical…”
“No. I’ll take the first train in the morning. Can you take me to the station? Maybe on your way out of town?”
Dan hesitated before responding. “Of course I can do that, but you might be getting into…”
“It’s Honey. And Jim. I don’t care what I find.”
Trixie was sitting on the back steps when Dan pulled into the driveway early the next morning. She got into the car without saying a word.
“Some party last night.” Trixie finally broke the silence after several minutes.
“Mart and Di didn’t notice a thing. I think they were relieved that we didn’t play golf. They couldn’t get away quick enough when I backed out.”
“He followed her home and didn’t come back for hours. What do you think?”
“I don’t ask, Trix. But I think they do need to get married.”
“Are they...?”
Dan shook his head. “Oh, no! Not yet. At least I don’t think so.”
“Guess that’s all I need to know. Di told me this week that she wants to get married next summer, but Mart wants to get his degree first.”
“I think they both should finish school, but I don’t want them to have any, ah, little surprises, either.”
Trixie didn’t respond.
“What happens when you get to Albany?”
“They do a complete mental and physical health evaluation, give me some aptitude tests, and then swear me in.”
“It takes two days?’
“I have to be there today, they put me up overnight because the day starts so early. I think they get us up before 5:00 a.m.”
Trixie nodded her understanding. “What are the aptitude tests for?”
“They’re supposed to help place you in the right schools or training, but… You need to know, Trix… I’m only in for two years so I’ll be a grunt.”
Trixie looked over at Dan, not wanting to know what a grunt might be. The two rode the rest of the way to the station in silence.
Dan pulled into the Kiss and Ride area and Trixie grabbed the door handle to get out, then hesitated. She opened her purse, pulled out a bar of Ivory Soap, and handed it to Dan.
“What’s this?”
“Eat it.” Trixie opened the door.
“What?” Dan didn’t understand.
“Eat the soap. I don’t want you to pass that effing physical. I need you.” Trixie got out and slammed the door shut and ran over to the steps that led up to the station platform. She turned and put her hand up to her mouth as if she were eating and then ran up the steps.
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