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Christmas Eve, 2001
Suburban Richmond, Virginia

Woman, do you love me?
Woman, if you need me then
Believe me I need you
To be my woman

Brian Belden pulled his Subaru into the garage of the townhouse, not knowing how he had made it through the day at work and wondering how he would get through the next, or the next, or the next. They said it would get easier. Right.

He sat staring at the shiny new Mustang parked in the other bay, remembering the debate about whether to buy it or something better suited for driving in foul weather.

"We have your Subaru for bad days," his wife had argued. She'd fallen in love with the car, but he wanted her to get something bigger and with all-wheel drive--perhaps an Explorer. "And it's not like we get that much bad weather in Richmond."

"There was that blizzard last March," he'd responded.

"Yeah. That blizzard." She'd put her arms around his waist, and nibbled at his ear. "I remember that storm. And we didn't need a car that night...or morning...or afternoon...or..."

So, they had bought the Mustang. And she'd loved it.

He stared at the car some more, wondering if he should sell it. No. He wanted it sitting there reminding him of his wife and how much pleasure it had brought her. His wife. What emotions that term stirred. Love. Laughter. Joy. Caring. Concern. Passion. Grief.

Sighing heavily, he got out of the car and walked out to the curb where he got the mail and the paper from their boxes, as well as the package left tied to the mailbox post. Reading the return address on the parcel, he smiled despite his emotional turmoil. "Trixie's pumpkin bread," he said aloud as he headed back into the garage and hit the button to close the garage door. "She knows I hate the stuff, but still insists on sending it." He started to toss it into the trash barrel, but changed his mind. "Time moves on, Belden. You need to make changes, no matter how much they hurt." He said to no one as he entered the house.

Christmas Eve, 2000, One Year Earlier
Baltimore, Maryland

Woman, do you love me?
Woman, if you need me then
Believe me I need you
To be my woman

"How many books did you buy?" Brian Belden was sitting on the floor of his girlfriend's apartment, wrapping presents for her nieces and nephews. To keep it simple, she had bought each child a book.

"Seventeen." Debbie Comer looked up from her wrapping and smiled at the handsome young doctor. "I told you I have fifteen nieces and two nephews." She watched him, thinking that no matter how much she tried to deny it to herself, she was totally and hopelessly in love with this man.

"'Where the Wild Things Are'," he read aloud as he placed the book in the middle of a sheet of wrapping paper. "I remember reading this book to my brother Bobby when he was little." He folded and taped the wrap, then grabbed a gift tag.

"Wait!" She grabbed the tag from him. "That's for Colin. The tag says Caitlin." She handed him a new tag.

He looked up. "Colin, Caitlin, Cathleen, Camilla. How many of these nieces and nephews will be there tomorrow?"

Debbie was taking Brian to her parents' home for Christmas dinner the next day. Brian already had met her parents and one brother and sister-in-law, but he had yet to meet the rest of her family. And it was quite a family. Debbie was the oldest girl--one brother was older--in a family of eight children. In addition to her seven siblings, there were seventeen nieces and nephews, with three more due by spring. Brian had grown up in a fairly large and close-knit family, but it was nothing like the O'Connells. He was the oldest of four, only one brother was married and he had only one niece; not seventeen.

His introduction to her parents had been warm enough. But the brother had reacted just as Brian had to admit he might treat a man he knew was sleeping with his sister; with long silent stares. He was concerned about how he'd be received by the other six brothers and one brother-in-law, especially since two of them worked on the Baltimore docks.

Debbie laughed as she leaned over and kissed Brian. "I know you're concerned, but they'll love you. I promise." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him long and deeply. "Or I'll kill them."

Brian grabbed her and pulled her to him as he fell onto his back. "Yeah. They'll love me. The SOB sleeping with their sister."

They spread out on the floor, forgetting the unwrapped packages. Between kisses and laughter, Brian rolled over, pinning Debbie to the floor. He raised his head and looked down into her inviting eyes. "You still haven't said who will be there tomorrow."

She laughed. "Every blessed one of them!"

"Geesh. And are they all as friendly as Kevin?"

Debbie pushed him away and sat up. "I told you, Brian. Kevin takes his role as big brother quite seriously. The others." She shrugged. "Just be your charming self and..."

Brian pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around her. "I'll charm the pants right off them all."

"Just like you did me." She snuggled closer, resting her head on his shoulder. "Mmmmm...this IS comfy."

"Comfortable enough to be forever?" Brian asked.

She quickly sat back up. "What?" She moved away and got up to sit on an ottoman.

"Forever. Marry me."

"What? What did you say?"

Brian sat up and smiled. Realizing what he'd just said, he laughed. "I asked you to marry me." He stood up, and reaching down, he pulled Debbie to him. "I asked the most beautiful, exciting woman I've ever met to marry me." He stroked her hair. "Marry me." He repeated.

"Ohmigosh." Debbie pulled away. "Ohmigosh." She walked across the room, wrapping her arms around herself before turning to look back at him. "I...I don't know what to say."

"Say yes. Say 'Yes--Brian--I--will--marry--you'." His voice trembled.

"I...I can't." She shook her head. "How well do you know me?"

Brian's heart sank. Was she saying no? Please, he prayed silently. Please don't let her get away. "I know I love you." He spoke aloud. "I know that I can't think about you without my heart pounding. I know I can't bear not being with you. I know that I can't imagine life without you."

Debbie knew she felt the same way, but she was so afraid of failure, of hurting him. But his eyes were pleading. Debbie thought that if it were possible for a heart to burst open, hers would do that now.

"I know how I feel," he continued. "I think you feel the same," he pleaded.

"I'm no good..." Tears were pooling in her eyes. She wanted so badly to just fall into his arms and tell him yes, but she feared failing again, and she was still uncertain of her ability to give him the love he deserved.

"I do love you. But I failed miserably at this already." Debbie had married her high school sweetheart at eighteen and been divorced by twenty-one. Her first husband had received an annulment when she refused to quit school, stay home, and provide him with the children he'd demanded. She'd avoided romantic entanglements for over a decade--until the she'd fallen and fallen hard for Brian Belden.

"So you learned from that." Brian's face fell when she didn't respond. He knew he was rushing things, but he'd never been so certain in his life as he was of his feelings for this woman.

"Dammit, Deb. I'm not him. I'm not some Neanderthal who wants you home, barefoot, and pregnant. But I do want more than an occasional roll in the hay. I'd ask you to just move to Richmond and live with me, but I want more than that. You DESERVE more than that." He hesitated before continuing. "I love you...I've never said that to a woman before. I love you."

The tears were flowing freely, now. "I love you, too." She rushed over to him. "I'm afraid, Brian. So afraid." She sobbed at the thought of spending her life with this handsome, intelligent, and caring man. She sobbed thinking about how happy he made her, about how much she enjoyed his companionship; about how much she was attracted to him physically; about how much she hated when they were apart. She knew how she felt. "I love you, too."

"Then?" he asked hesitantly.

She looked up at him and smiled through her tears. "Not then, when."

Brian pulled her tightly to him. Running his hands up and down her sides, he kissed her. "Oh, gee, I am so turned on." he murmured.

x x x

"Moms." Brian grabbed his fiancée and pulled her to him. Fiancée. He had mumbled that word over and over during the past few hours, while they consummated their engagement, and had repeated it several times while they were calling his parents to share the news. "Merry Christmas, Moms. Is Dad close by?"

"He is, Brian." Helen Belden became alarmed. She hadn't expected her oldest son to call until the next day, and he only asked for his father when it was something important. "Do you want me to put him on?"

"Put him on an extension, Moms. I want to tell you both something at the same time."

Helen Belden wiped her hands on a dish towel and called her husband. Once he picked up the extension in the den she sat down in a kitchen chair. "I'm sitting down. Should I be?" she asked.

Brian laughed. His mother noticed how happy and carefree it sounded for her too-often serious son. "It's good news, Moms!" He smiled at his fiancée. "Great news! I want to come up next week and...and bring my fiancée." He looked at Debbie and laughed. "My fiancée. I want you to meet your future daughter-in-law." He laughed again. He realized just how happy he was. "She's terrific. She's beautiful and intelligent and...and I love her so much, Moms, Dad. I know you'll love her too."

Christmas Day, 2000
Baltimore, Maryland

And should you ask me how I'm doing
What shall I say? Things are OK
But I know that they're not
And I still may have lost you

Debbie stood in front of the dresser mirror, straightening the clip holding her hair off her neck, and singing along with the radio.

"Gramma got run over by a reindeer."

"I hate that song," Brian came into the room and turned off the bedside radio. "And I've heard it at least twenty times since October."

"I love ALL Christmas music! I'd love it all year!" Debbie began swinging her hips. "Dashing through the snow," Swaying back and forth while singing, she turned to face the mirror. "In a one horse open sleigh."

"I like Christmas music too, but not year-round! I get pretty sick of some of it by Christmas when they start playing it before Halloween. And some of it is just plain awful."

"Oh Brian, don't be such a Scrooge."

"No. All the commercialization is bad enough, but they keep pushing it back and back every year until you're hearing carols in September."

"Christmas in July! Never heard of that?"

"Yeah, I'm dreaming of a green Christmas."

"Scrooge!" Debbie continued to work with her hair.

"Bah! Humbug!" Brain came up behind her and, wrapping his hands around her waist, he kissed the back of her neck. "Mmmm...I love it when you wear you hair down, but when it's up, it's so much easier to Mmmm..." He pulled her up against him and ran his hands up and down her body while he kissed and nipped at her neck. "You have such a sexy neck."

Debbie laughed and pulled away. "My mother thinks I'm too old to wear it long so I have to put it up today. That doesn't mean it's there for you to..." She looked down at the skirt and sweater she'd chosen to wear. "She thinks I dress too young, too...She thinks thirty-two is...She calls me a 'spinster'." Her mood suddenly darkened. "Do I look okay?" she asked without looking at him.

Brian wondered if Debbie's mother approved of anything about Debbie. He knew she was rather conservative and old-fashioned, but wondered how a loving mother could be so critical of her own daughter, especially when he thought everything about that daughter was perfect. He looked at his watch. He was NOT anticipating the long day at her parents. He grabbed Debbie again and pulled her to him. "You're perfect. Do we have time for..." he murmured between kisses. "I'm getting so turned on."

Debbie pushed him away and ran out of the room. "We need to leave now, you dirty horndog!"

Brian grabbed his overcoat off the bed and followed her.

x x x

"WOAH!"

"YEAH!"

"TOUCHDOWN BABY!"

Brian stood at the top of the basement stairs, garnering the strength to head down into the den of...future brothers-in-law. After making three trips carrying packages from the car and depositing Debbie's and his coats on the bed in the master bedroom, he'd been ordered to join the men in the basement who were "watching the game", while Debbie helped the women in the kitchen. He pulled at the neck of his shirt and sweater, wishing he hadn't worn a tie.

Just as he lifted a foot to step down, two young girls pushed him aside and ran down the steps.

"Daddy...Daddy."

Brian swallowed and headed down the stairs.

"I told you they never shoulda' traded..."

"Million dollar mistake!"

"TWENTY million dollar mistake!"

Suddenly the entire basement became quiet as eight adult male and several tiny female faces turned to stare at Brian.

He smiled meekly and stepped into the room. "Hi. Ah. I'm Brian. Brian Belden." They all sat and stared for a few seconds, but for what seemed an eternity to Brian, before Debbie's father stood up.

"Brian, come on in." He took Brian's hand and pulled him towards the sectional sofa where his sons and son-in-law were sitting. "Boys." All the men looked up at him. "This is Debbie's new beau."

Debbie's older brother, Kevin Jr., gave a shrug of his shoulders and turned to face the television screen, but the other men stood, each taking his hand and introducing himself. There were Johnny, Mick, Sean, Ed, Joe, and Ronnie. All except Ronnie had the same auburn hair and pale blue eyes as Debbie. Ronnie had even darker coloring than Brian, which was understandable, since, as the brother-in-law, he was the token Italian in the O'Connell family. Joe appeared to be the youngest and was the most welcoming, inviting Brian to sit beside him.

"You follow the Ravens?" he asked, patting the seat beside him. He took a beer from his father and handed it to Brian.

"I was a confirmed Giants fan growing up," Brian noticed Kevin sit up a bit straighter and turn to him with a scowl on his face. "Until I moved to Baltimore. "I'm a true Ravens fan now!" Kevin's shoulders sagged a bit and he turned back to look at the screen. Brian wondered if Debbie's brother would really pick a fight over a football team. He sat back, trying to enjoy the game. "What quarter is it?" He took the first of what he knew would be many swallows of beer that day.

Miraculously, Mrs. O'Connell was able to have dinner on the table just as the game was concluding and the men were beginning to wash up. Brian took his place in line outside the first floor bathroom, searching desperately for Debbie. He felt relieved when he spotted her and her sisters-in-law carrying platter after platter of food from the kitchen to the dining room table.

The dinner began as a boisterous feast with adults in the dining room and those children who could feed themselves in the heated sun room. Discussion was lively and loud with frequent interruptions from children coming in from the porch to tattle, get refills, or just beg for attention. It was somewhat louder and livelier than the holiday dinners of Brian's childhood, but not unfamiliar to him. He allowed himself to relax somewhat. Until dessert.

Once the main meal was finished, the women had quickly and efficiently cleared the table and returned with platters of cakes, pies, pastries and cookies. Once again, the children were served and sent out to the porch before the adults began passing the serving platters. Once everyone's dessert plates were filled, Mr. O'Connell stood to get their attention. "In case you haven't noticed already, Debbie has a guest today and, so far, he seems to be a good enough fella. Now Debbie has said he has something to tell us."

Brian had been waiting for an opportunity to talk to Mr. O'Connell alone. He hadn't expected he'd have to make an announcement to the entire family. He looked at Debbie, who was sitting across the table from him. She smiled nervously and nodded, so he stood up, too. Biting his upper lip, he tried to find the words. "I guess you know that Debbie and I work together at Johns Hopkins. In fact we've worked together for several years. I'd come to know her as a dedicated nurse and respected her immensely for her intelligence and talent." He looked around the table at almost two dozen solemn faces. "We've been seeing each other out of work for some time now." He hesitated. That was an exaggeration, but he needed to plead his case. "And I've come to respect her even more. I've come to respect and love her."

Debbie's mother gasped loudly at the word "love".

Ignoring it, he continued. "I've become certain that I want to spend the rest of my life with her." He looked down at his plate and then over at her. She was smiling broadly. "Last night I asked Debbie to marry me and she said yes." Turning to Mr. O'Connell, he added. "I was planning to ask you today for her hand, but I guess I'm asking everyone's blessing."

Debbie's sister squealed loudly as she got up from her chair and ran over to Debbie. As the two sisters jumped up and down sharing an embrace, each of the others at the table rose to shake Brian's hand or hug Debbie, but there was very little said. Brian couldn't help but notice the change in volume and joviality from just a few moments earlier.

Once everyone had wished him well and returned to enjoying their dessert, Brian noticed that Debbie and her mother weren't at the table. Concerned, he got up and walked first into the living room and then into the kitchen. As the door swung open, he saw the two women at the sink, clearly arguing and upset with each other. Debbie was crying. "Are you okay?" he asked Debbie. She nodded and came to him. Taking her hand, Brian looked from Debbie to her mother, unsure of what to do or say, when Debbie's father came into the kitchen.

"Marie? What the hell are you doing in here?"

Without saying a single word, Mrs. O'Connell pasted a broad smile onto her face, walked across the kitchen and pushed the door open into the dining room. Mr. O'Connell ignored both Brian and Debbie and followed her out, immediately joining in the lively discussion at the table. Brian squeezed Debbie's hand and followed, knowing that he would never be accepted by his mother-in-law and he'd never forgive her for making Debbie so unhappy on this important occasion.

After dinner, Mrs. O'Connell insisted that Brian needed to see all the family scrapbooks and photo albums. Debbie protested since Brian still had to drive to Richmond that evening, but her mother insisted, sitting with Debbie and Brian long after the other children and grandchildren had left, pouring through photos and other mementos. While Debbie clearly wasn't enjoying it, Brian slowly grew comfortable with the task. It was a terrific way for him to actually meet Debbie's family; seeing them grow and change, and sharing all their special occasions and accomplishments through photographs and news clipping. By the end of the evening, he felt he understood them and their protective feelings for Debbie and was glad Mrs. O'Connell had insisted he do this; at least until she pulled out the last album.

Opening the heavy leather tome to the first page, she gasped. "Oh, I didn't mean to show you these." She looked up at her daughter. "But maybe?"

"Momma, Brian doesn't want to see these." Debbie was clearly agitated.

"But you were so beautiful that day. Everyone was so happy."

Brian realized what she had saved for last. This was the album from Debbie's first wedding. "It is getting late." He moved to stand up.

"Wait Brian. Just see what a beautiful bride she was in her WHITE gown." She pulled him back down.

New Year's Eve, 2000
Sleepyside-on-the-Hudson, New York

Woman, do you love me?
Woman, if you need me then
Believe me I need you
To be my woman

Brian turned his new Subaru Outback, the car he'd had to buy because of his frequent trips between Baltimore and Richmond, onto Glen Road, pointing out each landmark to Debbie. "That's the Lynch home. Maple Crest. Mart claims he knew he was in love with Diana when he was seven. They've been married five, almost six, years! I think Katie's inherited the best of them both. She's quite a handful, but I think you'll love her."

Debbie caught a glimpse of a large contemporary structure back in the woods. "If you can handle seventeen nieces and nephews, I guess I can handle one niece."

"What I can't believe is that they're almost all girls!" Brian looked over at her. "What, fifteen nieces and two nephews?"

"And all three on the way are girls! We seem to do that in our family. One generation mostly boys, the next girls." She laughed. "I'm the only one who hasn't interpreted 'be fruitful and multiply' literally." Debbie began to worry about all the things Brian might not know about her. "I do want children," she added in a sober tone. "Do you?"

Brian sensed what she was thinking. "We will make beautiful children, Deb. But, well, the Beldens don't interpret being fruitful quite so literally. I think my parents were planning to stop at three. Then Bobby came along." He grabbed her hand. "How many DO you want?"

Debbie squeezed his hand, hearing just a twinge of worry in the question. "Will they have your smile and dark, sexy eyes?"

Brian laughed. "The boys can have sexy eyes, but not any girls. Although I do want at least one little girl with auburn curls and blue eyes. You can have as many as you want if I have my auburn-haired...Here we are!" He slowed down and turned into a driveway lined with trees. "Crabapple Farm."

Debbie pulled her hand away. "Are these crabapple trees?" her voice trembled. "I bet they're beautiful in the spring."

"They are." Seeing his mother step onto the service porch, he called out. "There's Moms. You'll love her."

"I...I'm. Our coming is so unexpected. She'll be..." Debbie swiped at her clothes nervously, pressing away non-existent wrinkles. She looked over at Brian and gasped. "Oh no! You have..." She wiped the lipstick smudge from his cheek.

"My mother's not going to freak over a little lipstick. She knows we've kissed," he grinned, while she continued to wipe his chin and look around for other signs of their smooching during the long drive. "You know, most couples do kiss before they get married." Seeing her worried expression, he changed his tone.

"Don't worry. You'll like them. And they'll love you." He parked behind an old minivan. "They said they were gonna sell this thing. Moms was the first woman in Sleepyside to get a van back in the 80s. It came in handy for all the kids she hauled."

"There were only four of you."

"All our friends. I told you about the Bob-Whites," Brian referred to the club created by him, two of his siblings, and several neighbors when they were teen-agers. "The club had a car, an old station wagon, that the Wheelers had given us to use, but often Moms was chauffeuring the non-drivers or we needed the van to haul things...This is the third van she's had and I thought she was getting rid of it for something more economical."

Debbie nodded her understanding as she unlocked her seat belt. She looked up to see an attractive blonde woman running towards the car. She sighed audibly before getting out. Brian was hurrying around to get her door. "Don't worry." he whispered as she got out and his mother pulled first him and then Debbie into crushing hugs.

"Oh Brian. It's so wonderful to see you! And Debbie. Debbie. I'm so happy for you!"

Debbie wasn't sure how to react. Her own family was usually fairly quick to welcome outsiders, but they had not hidden their suspicions of Brian and the quick decision to marry. Within moments of their announcement on Christmas Day, her mother had pulled her into the kitchen and reminded her that her first marriage had failed because she refused to have children, and accused her of now making babies outside of marriage. She refused to hear Debbie's protests and would have said much worse things if Brian hadn't interrupted when he did. If Brian's mother had any similar concerns, she wasn't showing them now. Debbie returned the hug and stepped back. "Mrs. Belden." She offered her hand.

Helen Belden took her future daughter-in-law's hand, but didn't shake it. Holding it with both hers, she insisted, "Moms. Diana has always called me that and I hope you will, too." Still holding Debbie's hand, she gave it a squeeze. "Besides, you'll be Mrs. Belden, too, won't you?" She turned to her son. "Mart and Diana are coming down to meet Debbie. I'm hoping Trixie will get by, too. Bobby's out, but he'll be home tonight, before he goes out again with his friends." She led Debbie into the house. "You can get your bags later, Brian. I want to talk first."

Mrs. Belden settled the two young people at her kitchen table and offered cookies and something warm to drink before sitting down with them. "Okay." Her tone became just a bit more serious. "I can't be more delighted to know that my oldest child is settling down. I'm happy and excited. But."

Debbie looked over at Brian and smiled nervously. Here it comes, she thought to herself.

Mrs. Belden noticed the look. "I did not raise stupid children. If Brian believes he's...well if Brian loves you, Debbie, and you love him..." Debbie nodded and she continued. "If Brian wants to marry you, then you must be perfect for him." She looked back over at her son. "But I have to be completely honest and tell you that I was very surprised by your announcement. This does seem sudden. There! I'm sorry if I've embarrassed or upset you, but I needed to say that!"

"We've only dated for a short time, but we've worked together for years, Moms," Brian clarified. "It has been a bit of a whirlwind, and does seem pretty impulsive, but I think that just speaks to the intensity of my feelings." He grabbed Debbie's hand. "I've never felt anything quite like this and never thought I could. I cannot imagine... No, I REFUSE to live my life without this woman."

Mrs. Belden sat back in her chair. Her son clearly was taken by this woman and she did appear to be lovely. "When's the wedding?"

"I'd like it to be today!" Brian laughed at the look on his mother's face. "I told you on the phone that we weren't going to waste any time. He didn't miss his mother's brief glance at Debbie's stomach. "No, Moms. We're not pregnant."

Debbie's face flushed. "I'm sorry Debbie." Brian offered. "But I want to make that clear to everyone who might be speculating." He turned back to his mother. "I'm sure people will talk, but let them. I've been the dependable, responsible, Boring Brian Belden for almost thirty years. This may seem quick to you, but I've never been so certain of anything in my life. I'm just as certain that I'm not going to wait around for a year to make it official. And I want to make it official, legal, sacred." He took Debbie's hands again. "We both do. I'd like it sooner, but Debbie wants to wait until April."

Helen Belden smiled. Her oldest son had been her only child to look like his father. She'd never realized until now, just how much he could behave like his father, too. She was only eighteen when Peter Belden had insisted they not wait to get married. After a Christmas engagement, he'd wanted an immediate wedding, but she'd also forced him to wait until spring. It was a good thing they hadn't waited much longer, she thought, since only seven months later...

"April. Where?" She looked to Debbie. "Your home?"

"Debbie's from Baltimore, but she doesn't want to have it there. Ah, I guess I should tell you...ah...she's been married before." He waited for a reaction, but there was none. "She's Catholic, but it was annulled. Her parents...well I don't think they've accepted all this as easily as you. Anyway, we'd like Reverend Garrett to marry us here in your garden, if you'll let us."

Peter Belden walked into the kitchen from the service porch at that time. Debbie stared in awe at the tall, dignified looking man with salt-and-pepper hair and Brian's chocolate-brown eyes. His presence in the room was as powerful as Brian's could be. She looked from him to Brian and back again, realizing she was seeing what her future husband would look like in twenty or thirty years.

"This must be Debbie!" he said in a deep commanding voice while walking around the table. His face broke into a familiar warm smile, one she'd received from Brian on so many occasions.

She offered her hand, but Mr. Belden shook his head. "We aren't formal at Crabapple Farm. Let me give my future daughter-in-law a real welcome." He pulled her into a warm embrace, then grasped her shoulders and stepped back. "So you're the young woman who has taken Brian's heart." He looked over at his son. "She's lovely, Brian. Absolutely lovely." Taking off his coat, he sat at the table and grabbed some cookies. "Tell me all about yourself, Debbie."

Shortly thereafter, Mart, Diana, and Katie joined them. They were planning to stay with Diana's parents, but, at Diana's insistence, had driven directly from their home in Ithaca to Crabapple Farm. Diana didn't want to wait a moment longer than necessary to meet the future Mrs. Brian Belden. She was as curious as Helen Belden as to why Brian had made such an impulsive decision.

One look at Debra O'Connell Comer, and Diana knew why Brian was so smitten. Debbie was a vibrant and stunningly beautiful woman. Diana had known Brian since she was six and he was nine, and she had never seen his face brighten the way it did when he looked at Debbie. She had never heard him laugh the way he did when Debbie teased him, and she imagined sparks flying when he and Debbie touched.

Diana knew the love she shared with Mart Belden was true and for life, but it had never been so intense as what she felt in Brian and Debbie's presence.

Later, while Katie busied herself in a playpen, and Diana and Debbie helped Mrs. Belden prepare dinner, Peter Belden summoned his two sons into his den.

"Sit down." He pointed to a pair of well-worn armchairs as he turned on a lamp. "Can't believe how early it gets dark this time of year. They keep talking about having Daylight Saving Time all year, but..." He rolled a battered leather executive chair around to the front of the desk and sat facing his sons. Noticing the nervous glance exchanged between Brian and Mart, he added. "I'm not going to bite." He watched both young men relax and marveled that he still had such power over them.

"It was no surprise to me or your mother when Mart and Diana became engaged." He smiled. "In fact, I worried about you, Mart, when it took you as long as it did to ask her." They all chuckled. "There's always been too much Johnson in you. You know, I wanted to name you Chester or Clyde, but your mother was insistent that we name you after your grandfather Johnson." He smiled at the feeble attempt at a joke. "Guess we knew you'd have the Johnson sense of...well you're not as impulsive as the rest of us."

"It's because you're a Belden," he turned to Brian, "that I'm not overly surprised by your announcement. Beldens make up their minds quickly and decisively, and then take action. But this is quite sudden...you just broke up with Joyce."

Brian slumped in his chair. Suddenly he felt like a teen-ager--a goofy, awkward, indecisive teen-ager. "Yeah...Joyce. I've only now realized WHY I never wanted to marry her. It was.." he looked up at his dad. "You were right when you said that if I loved her, I'd marry her. I'm so ashamed about how I've treated her."

"And you thought you were in love with Honey."

"That...we were so young, Dad."

"Exactly what I said then."

"It was...This is so different. And I never said I loved Honey! Never! To her or to anyone else. It was what was expected of us. We'd been dating and the natural next step was to get married if we...we were so darn young. Honey was special...I thought that then and still believe that. But I didn't love her. I know that now. Now, now, I'm twenty-nine and Debbie's..." He hesitated. They hadn't told his parents that she was older. "Debbie's thirty-two," he waited for a reaction from his father, but got none. "She's, ah, she's been married before...but it was so much like Honey and me...rushing into marriage when she was only eighteen. It was over by the time she was twenty-one."

"We're not two dewy-eyed kids," he continued. "I love her, Dad." He looked from his father to his brother for affirmation. "I've never been more certain of anything in my life...she is my life or will be."

"Is she pregnant?" Mr. Belden finally asked the question hanging in the air.

Mart squirmed in his seat, wondering why he was being included in this conversation. He'd assumed that a pregnancy was at least part of the reason for the sudden announcement.

"No! Oh no, Dad! I...Geez, I'm a doctor...she's a nurse! We know how to avoid...I love her Dad. That's all."

"She is lovely, Brian. You do know how to pick them." He looked over at his younger son who was squirming in his seat. "I guess I should tell you the reason I called both of you in." He scooted the chair back around behind his desk, opened a drawer, and pulled out a small box. "Mart and I discussed a long time ago whether he should have this or whether I should hold it for you. Mart wanted to give Diana a ring they chose together and thought it should be saved for the oldest son. Then you surprised everyone with that ring for Honey. I figured then that I might hold it for Bobby or...I noticed Debbie wasn't wearing a ring." He opened the box. "It was my mother's. Your grandmomma's. It's yours...hers, if the two of you want."

Brian and Mart both stood up to get closer to the ring. Brian took the box from his father and looked down at the sparkling diamond solitaire, surrounded by tiny sapphires. The light reflecting off the stones reminded him of Debbie's eyes. "It's beautiful. She has blue eyes. She'll..." he looked up at his father. "It's perfect."

His father saw the happiness in his son's face and knew that it WAS perfect for the future Mrs. Belden.

Their quiet camaraderie was interrupted by doors slamming and excited squeals coming from the kitchen.

"Methinks our sibling of the feminine gender has arrived," Mart offered as the three men headed out of the den.

x x x

Shortly after Trixie arrived, they were joined by Bobby, who was home on break from college, but was spending every free moment with old high school buddies. Mrs. Belden quickly took charge, assigning each person a role in preparation of one of her wonderful dinners. Just as she was pulling the ham from the oven, Dan Mangan tapped on the door from the service porch and stepped in. Mrs. Belden quickly set the roasting pan back in the oven and gave him a welcoming hug.

"You're just in time to stay for dinner. Does Trixie know you're coming?"

"She's expecting me later. I was supposed to work all day, but I knew she has to work tomorrow, so I slipped out early." He looked around for the vivacious blonde who had captured his heart. "I...ah...I don't want to put you out for dinner...I just..." Dan blushed--something Mrs. Belden had never seen him do until recently, but he seemed to be doing with increasing frequency--especially when looking at or discussing her daughter.

"I know, Dan." She gave him another hug. "You couldn't wait to see Trixie. There's plenty of food so you have to join us. You know that our walls AND our table always stretch." She turned towards the cabinet where they kept the plates.

Debbie had been watching from across the kitchen. Brian had told her about Dan and his relationship with Trixie, but she'd never met the talented prosecutor nor even seen his photograph. Seeing the dashing figure he made in his suit and top coat, chiseled features, and dark, brooding eyes, she could understand Trixie's physical attraction to him, but the young detective's gregarious nature seemed to be the complete opposite of this solemn, reserved man.

"Oh! I'm sorry. Debbie. This is Dan. Dan Mangan. He grew up with Brian and Trixie."

She turned to Dan. "This is Debbie, Brian's fiancée."

Dan offered his hand and just as Debbie took it, Trixie bounced into the room. Dan's face lit up and he smiled so broadly Debbie feared he might choke. In an instant, she knew why Dan and Trixie were so perfect for each other.

"Danny!" Trixie ran across the room and leapt into his arms. He lifted her off the floor and they both momentarily forgot about anyone else in the room. "I thought you'd be late." Trixie murmured as she kissed him.

"I left early. I want to spend every spare minute with..." Dan kissed her back before setting her down. He kissed her quickly again before looking up at Trixie's mother and blushing.

Helen Belden handed him a plate. "I will ask you to find a chair and put out your place setting." She leaned over and whispered, "You and Trixie should sit next to each other."

x x x

After a delicious dinner, everyone except Bobby moved from the dining room into the kitchen where they helped clean up. Trixie and Debbie stacked the dishwasher while commiserating about having grown up being responsible for washing dishes for a large family--a large family with no automatic dishwasher. They shared stories of over protective and too often macho male siblings. Seeing their whispering and hearing their giggles, Brian was reassured that Debbie WOULD love his family and they would love her.

After the kitchen was cleaned, everyone moved into the family room for dessert. Trixie and Dan made themselves comfortable on the sofa, sitting close but not too close. Brian noticed that Dan was holding Trixie's hand and was far more comfortable touching and whispering to her than he had been just a couple months earlier. He had no idea to what level their relationship had progressed, but it was obvious they cared for each other. His mother had settled comfortably on the love seat while his father stoked the fire he'd built earlier in the fireplace. Mart and Diana had settled into the oversized club chair they'd loved to cuddle in since high school. He sat in the matching chair and motioned for Debbie to join him, just as Bobby came in.

"I'm headed out now."

"Where's this party?" their father asked.

"Like I haven't told you a dozen times already. I'm over eighteen, Dad."

"You still live at home and I still pay your bills, Bob. And you're not twenty-one. I don't want you drinking and I DEFINITELY don't want you drinking and driving. And it's only a courtesy to let us know where you'll be."

"I'm going out with Larry and Terry. We're going to Brad Tavenner's. If you don't trust me, you can call Brad's MOTHER to check on us. And I don't drink and drive, Dad."

Brian noticed how smoothly Bobby tried to put his father on the defensive, and that he avoided saying anything about drinking, just drinking and driving. But he didn't interfere. He wasn't around Bobby enough to say anything.

"Geez. Getalife." Bobby mumbled as he left.

Debbie watched the exchange. Apparently no one else had heard the last comment. She'd witnessed several similar "discussions" between her own parents and siblings and knew it could be nothing or it could be symptomatic of problems. She walked over and sat with Brian.

Despite the warm welcome she'd received from all the Beldens, she was not comfortable sitting close and cuddling with him. She squirmed around a lot as everyone talked and argued amicably about whether to play games or watch a movie. Finally, it was decided to play games and she welcomed the chance to sit on the floor around the over-sized coffee table.

The evening passed quickly and soon Mr. Belden was filing champagne flutes as everyone crowded around the television to watch the ball drop in Times Square. He handed the last flute to Debbie, kissing her on the cheek as she took it. "I know the midnight kiss is reserved for my son, but I want to be the first to wish you well and welcome you to the family," he whispered.

"Ten!"

"Nine!"

The countdown had begun. Everyone joined in the revelry.

"Eight!"

"Seven!"

"Six!"

"Five!"

"Four!"

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Glasses clinked and couples held each other close to kiss. Debbie melted into Brian's arms until she remembered that she was in a room with her future in-laws and several other couples, and pulled away. She looked up into Brian's eyes and saw her future reflected in them. "Happy New Year," she said.

Brian set down his champagne glass, and, reaching into his back pocket, dropped down on one knee.

Realizing what he must be doing, Debbie gasped. Everyone grew silent and turned to watch them.

Brian held up the small box and popped it open. "Debra Marie O'Connell Comer, will you marry me?" He looked up at her, his entire body shaking from the intensity of emotions rushing over him.

Debbie dropped down on her knees and wrapped her arms around him. "Oh yes! Yes! You big galoot. I told you that already."

April 28, 2001
Richmond, Virginia

Woman, do you love me?
Woman, if you need me then
Believe me I need you
To be my woman

"Good morning Mrs. Belden." Brian stretched across the bed and kissed his wife. "Happy three-week anniversary."

"Mmmm..." Debbie opened one eye and stretched lazily. "Three weeks, already?" She pulled him down to her and kissed him.

Brian rolled away and took something from the bedside stand. "This is for you. He rolled back over and held it out.

Debbie sat up and opened both eyes. "Brian, I don't need..." He was holding a jeweler's box. "Dammit Brian. We're saving for..."

He thrust the box at her. "It wasn't too expensive. Please," he pleaded. "I had to get these for you."

Debbie took the box and opened the lid. Inside were sapphire earrings. Her mouth dropped open. "Oh my! Oh Brian. They're...Brian, they WERE expensive."

"I saw them and had to get them. They match your ring. They reminded me of your..." He looked into those light blue eyes. He watched as she took the earrings out of the box and put them on.

"Well, what do you think?" She shook her head slightly.

Brian rolled over to her, pushed her back against the pillows and straddled her. "I think there's nothing more beautiful in the world than a gorgeous woman wearing absolutely nothing but a pair of sapphire earrings." His eyes slowly roamed down her body, then back up. "I am so turned on."

x x x

Later that morning, Brian walked into the kitchen and kissed his wife who was sitting at the table, sipping from a coffee mug and reading. She now wore nothing but the earrings and one of his old stretched-out t-shirts. "I'm finished with the shower, if you want to get in," he offered as he poured himself a mug. He sat across the table from Debbie and watched as she sorted through mail.

"This is mostly junk," she started to say, but stopped short. "Oh! How'd we miss this?" she asked, lifting up a large blue envelope. "It's from your mother." She ripped it open. "Oh, look! It's the wedding announcement from the Sleepyside Sun!"

Brian got up and looked over her shoulder as she read,

Comer-Belden

Debra Marie O'Connell Comer and Brian Francis Belden, both of Richmond, Virginia, were married in the garden of Crabapple Farm on Glen Road, Sleepyside-on-the-Hudson, New York, by the Reverend Daniel Garrett, on April 7.

The bride is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Kevin O'Connell of Baltimore, Maryland.

The groom is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Peter Belden of Sleepyside-on-the Hudson, New York.

The bride was escorted to the altar by her bother, Joseph O'Connell. She wore a white silk sheath gown and carried a bouquet of flowers from the Crabapple Farm gardens.

The matron of honor was Margaret O'Connell Bosco of Baltimore, sister of the bride.

Martin J. Belden of Ithaca, New York, the groom's brother, served as best man.

The bride attended St. Joseph's Hospital Nursing School and earned her BSN and MSN degrees from Johns Hopkins University. She is a Pediatric Nursing Supervisor at St. Mary's Hospital in Richmond, VA.

The groom earned a Bachelor of Science degree from Columbia University and received a Doctor in Medicine degree from Johns Hopkins University. He currently practices Pediatric Oncology and teaches at Virginia Commonwealth University Hospital Center, Medical College of Virginia.

The couple resides in Richmond.

"I wish my mom and dad had been there," Debbie sighed.

When Debbie's parents had learned she wasn't getting married in the Catholic Church, they opted to skip the ceremony. Her older brother, Kevin, also stayed away, but her other siblings, their spouses, and many of their children had traveled to Sleepyside and provided love and support for their sister. Debbie had never discussed it with Brian, but he knew she'd been hurt deeply and he had hated that he had been responsible, even indirectly, for that pain.

"I'm so sorry." He held her close to him, wishing he could squeeze the pain away and knowing he would never forgive his in-laws. "So sorry. I would have married you in the Church--anywhere you wanted."

Debbie looked up into his eyes, knowing that he would have done anything she asked. "It's what I chose. I don't regret marrying you and I don't regret getting married in your mother's beautiful garden. It's their loss that they weren't there." She stuck out her bottom lip stubbornly, but Brian saw the slight quivering.

Brian bent down, brushing his lips across her chin and then down her neck and shoulder blades, before working his way lower. "I love you. I'd do anything for you."

Debbie gasped. "I know."

"Anything," he murmured as he reached up under her t-shirt, caressing her with his hands. He gave a rich deep chuckle. "Gee, I'm getting turned on again."

"Did you say you'd do anything?" Debbie purred.

"Anything." He reached up under the t-shirt again.

"Anywhere?"

Brian laughed. "Here?" He glanced up at the open kitchen window and at the papers and dishes on the table. "What the heck." He pulled the t-shirt up over her head.

"Here!" She pushed him down onto the table.

May 25, 2001
Richmond, Virginia

I guess you'll take your time and tell me
When we're alone, love will come home
I would give up my world
If you'll say that my girl is my woman

"Dammit, Brian Belden! Can't you even pick up your dirty laundry?" Debbie stooped down and picked up the socks and underwear off the bedroom floor. She stormed across the room and into the bathroom. "THIS is a laundry hamper!" she opened it and threw in the offensive clothing. "A DIRTY laundry hamper!"

Brian peeked out from behind the shower curtain. His normally upbeat and energetic wife had been unusually tired and crabby for almost three weeks. He wondered what was troubling her. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"Okay? How can I be okay when all I do is pick up after you? I'd be fine if you'd do something to help around here. You are a slob! A complete SLOB!" She stormed out of the bathroom.

Brian turned off the water and, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist, hurried after her. Debbie was spread face down, across the bed. He stood and watched, wondering if he'd only make things worse by going to her. Hearing her sobs, he rushed over to her.

"Debbie. Sweetheart." He sat on the bed and pulled her to him. She first swatted at him, but finally gave up and crumbled into his arms.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." she sobbed.

"You're sorry? Oh Debbie, I'm the slob. It's okay to get upset."

"It's not that. It's...you might not think it's okay when... She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her robe. "I...you...we..."

"What?"

"I'm late." She waited for him to respond, but he just stared silently. "As in pregnant."

It took a moment for Brian to realize what she was saying, but as it sunk in, a smile spread slowly from his lips to his entire mouth, and then upward to his eyes, until his entire face lit up. He grabbed Debbie and began bouncing on the bed. "You're WHAT? You ARE? We're? A Baby?"

Debbie nodded.

Brian got up from the bed and began pacing back and forth, unable to contain his excitement. "A baby!" He suddenly stopped pacing. "Already? How? When? You're sure? How? Have you been to the doctor? Why haven't you told me?"

Debbie nodded with each question. "I'm six, maybe seven, weeks. I'm late, so I took the test this morning and it WAS positive, so I'm pretty darn sure. My doctor's in Baltimore so I'll need to find one here." She stood up and went over to her husband. "As far as how, Brian, you're the doctor. You know exactly how...and since weve been acting like a couple of rabbits for months and haven't been using any birth control..." She sobered a bit. "Based on my cycle, the baby will be here in late winter--we won't even make it to our first anniversary."

"Gee. I know we agreed not to wait, but I thought we'd get a little more time practicing before...We've only been married seven weeks!" Brian pulled her to him, kissing the top of her head and then just holding her, savoring the thought that he was now holding his wife AND his child. "I love you Debbie. I love you and I love our baby." He kissed her again as she ran her hands up his bare back. He looked down at her. "Damn, I'm getting turned on. You tell me you're pregnant and all I can think about is..."

Debbie pulled his towel away and laughed. "We can keep 'practicing'." She gave him a long, smoldering kiss. "And I know exactly how two randy rabbits would celebrate having made a baby."

September 25, 2001
Richmond, Virginia

I've got plenty of time
Just to get through it
Once again you'll be mine
I still think we can do it
And you know how much I love you

Debbie sat on the plush carpet in the family room of their newly purchased townhouse talking on the phone. She was trying to explain to her mother that even though they had moved, they were able to keep the same telephone number. "Why don't you come down and see it, if you don't believe we've really moved," she finally said in exasperation. "It's a lovely home, Momma...No its not too expensive. Brian makes good money and we got a good deal. No, I haven't decided if I'll continue working. It's our decision Momma, not yours. Why can't you?" She hung up and wiped her tears with her sleeve. Rolling over to get her obviously pregnant body off the floor, she saw her husband, who'd been leaning against the counter, listening to her half of the conversation. She could tell by his stance and the scowl on his face that he was more furious with her mother than usual.

"Why do you keep calling her when it only upsets you?" He came over and helped her stand up.

"She's my mother." She batted at his hand, but he insisted on helping her.

"It always upsets you. You shouldn't...You're pregnant and shouldn't be getting upset unnecessarily." Her tears were gone, but he wiped where they had been with his thumb.

"Brian, that call won't affect my pregnancy."

"It affects me. I hate to see you so unhappy."

"I was just calling to give her our new address and let her know the number hadn't changed."

"Do you think she'll use it?"

Debbie was surprised at his cynicism. While Brian made no secret of his frustration with her mother, he usually tried to comfort her when she was upset. Today he seemed to want to fan the fires. She swatted at him playfully. "She still needs it when she does want to contact us."

"And how many times has she called or made any contact since weve been married?"

Debbie pulled away and went into the kitchen. She called her mother regularly, but her mother hadn't written or called even once since she'd moved to Richmond over two months before their wedding. She began taking glasses out of one of the boxes Brian had placed on the table for her to unpack.

"How many times, Debra?" Brian followed her into the kitchen.

"Dammit, Brian. You know she's never called us once...and yes, you're right, she'll probably never call. And she said she doesn't want anything to do with our bastard..." Debbie began sobbing.

Brian ran to her and pulled her into his arms. The last thing he wanted was to ever hurt her, but they'd replayed this scene entirely too many times in the past six months. Debbie's mother had never accepted the failure of her first marriage and refused to acknowledge her relationship with Brian or the legitimacy of their marriage. After boycotting the ceremony, their only contact had been that initiated by Debbie and those always upset Debbie. Brian understood that Debbie didn't want to cut off relations with her mother, but he wished there were some way he could make it easier for her--short of sending her back to her first husband or beating her mother into submission.

"No one else shares her opinions," he offered feebly while rubbing her back and kissing her hair.

"I know...but she's my mother." Debbie sniffled loudly. "It's...it's complicated. I know I should ignore her, but I can't. I want her to approve. I want her to know her grandchild."

"And if she never does?" Brian knew he shouldn't say that, but it was time to get it out in the open. He believed his mother-in-law never would approve of him and their marriage.

Debbie pushed him away. "Don't say that."

"Dammit, Debbie. I don't want to hurt you more than you are already, but you have to accept that she..." Brian stopped short, reminding himself that the first rule for a successful marriage was to never criticize your mother-in-law. "Forget it!"

He turned and walked out of the kitchen, heading out to the borrowed pick-up parked in the garage for more boxes. Debbie had insisted that she pack and unpack all their breakable belongings, but Brian refused to let her carry them. Maybe he could find a box filled with something unbreakable to kick or throw around. Maybe he'd draw a picture of his mother-in-law on it first.

Debbie stood silently watching him storm out. She knew he was right. Her mother could be narrow-minded and obstinate and she seemed to take perverse pleasure in making Debbie miserable. She reached in the open box and started to take out a glass when she broke down completely; sobbing loudly. She'd married a wonderful man and they'd made a cherished child together, and her mother would never know either. She knew she had to move on and make her own life. She should have done it long before. She fell into a heap on the floor, dropping the glass as she slumped down.

Brian came into the house just as the glass shattered against the kitchen tiles. Hearing Debbie's sobs, he ran into the kitchen. "Ohmigod." He called out when he saw her crumpled against the cabinets. "Debbie. Debbie." He sank down beside her.

"She..." Debbie sobbed. "She's never...You..."

Brian pulled her into her arms.

"The baby..." She choked out between sobs.

"The baby!" Panic tore through Brian as he forced her down onto the floor. "What's wrong with the baby?" He wondered if he should try to get her to the hospital, take charge himself, or call 911. "Are you?"

Debbie looked up at his horrified expression and found herself laughing, despite her misery. "Oh no Brian." She tried to sit up. "I'm okay. The baby's okay." She tried again to sit up but Brian held her tightly. "I was just upset...I'm fine."

"You're not fine. I heard glass breaking...you were..." He looked to see if she were bleeding.

"Brian. I said I'm fine." She tried to get up, but Brian held her close to him. "It's hormones. I was just upset."

Brian knew it was more, but said nothing. He stood and then helped her up. He knew it was time to act.

x x x

Two days later, Brian sat on a stool in a smoke-filled, dimly lit bar in Baltimore, waiting for his father-in-law to join him. After the emotional scene with Debbie, he'd called his father-in-law and asked him to meet for dinner. Mr. O'Connell had insisted on just a drink after work--anything other than stopping for a drink might cause suspicion at home. So Brian left work early that afternoon and had driven over three hours from Richmond to share a beer with the older man.

Brian took a sip from his beer, and mentally rehearsed what he might say. He'd been rehearsing the same scene for the past two days. There wasn't anything he could say that wasn't critical of his mother-in-law, but his only concern was the happiness and well-being of his wife. And his child.

Mr. O'Connell entered the bar. "Got Boh on tap?" He called to the bartender who nodded. "One over there." He gestured for Brian to join him in a booth. Brian grabbed his mug and sat down opposite him. They waited in silence until the waitress placed a beer and bowl of peanuts on the table and left. "Now tell me, Brian. What's so important, you need to drive up here to talk about it?"

Brian smiled nervously at the older man. He seemed to be a kind man who loved his daughter, but he also allowed his wife to control his relationship with that daughter. Brian wondered how he'd react, but Brian knew he'd never know how the man would react if he didn't confront him.

"Debbie's not doing well," he started.

"The baby? Marie said it was dangerous to put off having babies after thirty."

"No, no." Brian tried to reassure him about that, explaining that increasing numbers of women are putting off starting families in their late thirties and even forties. "The pregnancy is going well. It's Debbie's heart--and her state of mind--that I'm worried about." And Brian began to tell the older man how much he cared for his daughter and how he hated seeing how hurt she was by her parents' absence in her life. "Right now, it seems the only thing that will make Mrs. O'Connell happy is for me to crawl back into the hole I came from." He looked sternly and directly at the older man. "She's not getting rid of me. I love your daughter, we're making a life together, and the commitment I made to her is for life."

Mr. O'Connell sat silently, occasionally nodding his understanding, and only interrupting once--to order a second beer. By the time Brian had spoken his piece, the fresh mug of beer had appeared. Before picking up the frosted mug, he reached over and patted his son-in-law's hand. "I know you're a good man, Brian. I know you're good for Debbie. Can't say I approve of her getting divorced and then marrying you in a backyard."

"It was a formal garden," Brian interrupted defensively. "And we were married by a minister."

"Let me speak my piece, Brian." He traced a design in the condesation on his mug while the younger man mumbled an apology, and then continued. "I respect how much courage it took for you to come up here. I know you're concerned." He took a long drink of beer. "Marie can be difficult." He shook his head. "Her greatest disappointment was probably when Debbie's first marriage failed. Can't say I believe in divorce, and I think Debbie could have tried harder at first, but by the time it broke up officially, it was the best thing. And we should be thankful it happened before there were children or they'd wasted their entire lives. Marie never saw it that way and she's never hesitated to let Debbie know." He took another swill. "She's a very devout woman. This is about more than success and failure, it's about the covenant of marriage."

Brian nodded his understanding. "I'm sensitive to that."

"Problem is, neither woman has ever moved past that. Marie won't let Debbie forget how she disappointed us and for whatever reason, Debbie still craves her mother's approval of what she did."

"It's more than that, sir." Brian interrupted. "She...Mrs. O'Connell has accused Debbie of...she called our child a bastard."

"I wasn't aware. That is..." Mr. OConnell was upset now. "I wouldn't stand for anyone to call a child of mine...Not my grandchild either."

"Thats why I'm here." Brian took a swallow of beer. "If it were just me, I'd...well, I'm not sure what I'd do, but I'd nip it for certain. But that has hurt Debbie...more than I've ever seen her hurt."

"It seems like it's time for me to have a talk with Marie." Kevin O'Connell motioned to the bartender to bring another beer. "Do you want?" Brian shook his head no, so he held up one finger. "And I sure don't look forward to that! I can't say I'll change Marie's mind, about Debbie's annulment and remarriage." He smiled at Brian, hoping he understood. "In fact I KNOW I can't change it. She's a stubborn old Irishwoman. But I can sure change what she says and how she acts towards my grandchild. She's going to accept and love that grandchild just like she has the other twenty--actually it'll be our twenty-second grandchild, with Maggie's baby." Debbie's sister, Maggie, was expected to deliver in early November.

Mr. O'Connell exchanged his empty mug for the full one offered by the waitress and took a long swallow. "I appreciate your coming here to talk to me," he continued. "You're a good man, Brian Belden. It's a shame you're not Irish." They both smiled. "But I've said before and I've meant what I said. You're Debbie's choice and you'll be the father of at least one of my grandchildren." He paused before continuing, "You treat them well and I'll always respect you for that."

"I will, Sir."

"I believe you." He took another long swallow of beer. "You a praying man, Brian? Do you go to church regularly and pray?"

"I have."

"Then you go this week and you pray for me when I confront Marie. It won't hurt to have both Catholic and Protestant prayers being said."

"I'll do that, Sir. I might ask you to pray for me, too."

"Why's that?"

"When I get home tonight and tell Debbie where I've been."

Day Before Thanksgiving, 2001
LaGuardia Airport

Woman, don't forsake me
Woman, if you take me then
Believe me I'll take you
To be my woman

Brian placed the rental contract and other papers in the small folder, took the keys from the car rental agent, and turned to look for his companion. She had grabbed several bags and was walking away. "I'll take that. You shouldn't..." He hurried towards her, noticing the men watching as she walked through the crowd. She turned heads, even in her obviously pregnant condition. He had no idea what he had ever done to deserve this beautiful woman and the happiness she had brought into his life, but he was immeasurably appreciative.

"Excuse me. Mr., ahh, Dr. Belden?" The clerk tried to get the handsome young man's attention, but the Muzak blaring through the speakers drowned her voice. "DOCTOR BELDEN!" she yelled loudly.

He turned back around to see what the woman wanted.

"I just want to confirm. You will be returning the car to our desk at Richmond Airport?"

"My wife will. On next Thursday." He turned and smiled at his wife, marveling at how good that sounded. Wife. "I've got that." Brian ran over and took the two larger suitcases from his wife.

"I'm pregnant, Brian. Not disabled."

"I would think a nurse would take more precautions." Brian juggled around the suitcases so he could manage her large bag, his medium-sized bag and the laptop computer he'd brought from work.

"I would think a doctor would know..."

"As a doctor I'm perfectly aware that you are NOT an invalid. I also know that you shouldn't be trying to lug around fifty pound suitcases in your condition. After the baby comes, and I have the progeny to which I'm entitled," he added sarcastically, "you can carry ALL the heavy weight if you want."

"Gee thanks. You're so considerate." Debbie looked around the terminal. "There. There's a sign to the rental cars." Walking towards it, she realized Brian wasn't following. She turned to see her husband lagging back, staring and smiling at her. "What?"

"You're waddling."

"I'm WHAT?"

"You've got that walk. That pregnant waddle." He thought he'd burst with pride. That was their child in her expanding body; their baby making her walk that way. "It's so sexy!"

"Brian Belden!" Debbie dropped the small bag she was carrying and placed her hands on her hips. "I am NOT waddling! Am I? You keep saying I'm carrying so well. Now, you say I'm FAT!" Tears streamed down her face.

Brian hurried over to her and dropped his luggage. Pulling her into his arms, he tried to soothe her injured feelings. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're not fat, you're pregnant. And I've never seen anything more beautiful." He reached down and rubbed her swollen belly. He kissed her sweetly, then deeply. "I know it's cliché, but whoever said it was so right. There is nothing on earth more beautiful than the woman you love carrying your child. I'm sorry if I insulted you. I just love looking at you." He held her closely. "Oh geez. I'm getting turned on." He whispered. "I can't even kiss you here without getting..."

Debbie giggled. "I'm sorry Brian. "I'd jump you, but people might wonder..." She slapped him teasingly and picked up her bag. "I just hope you'll feel this way when I'm fifty."

Brian wiggled his eyebrows. "You'll be such a sexy fifty. Gee when you're fifty I'll still be forty-something! In my prime, still wearing you out!" He picked up the remaining luggage and they headed towards the rental cars.

"How many people did you say are coming to your mother's dinner, tomorrow?" Debbie asked as they settled into a grey Chevrolet Malibu.

"No more than your mother had last Christmas." He reached over and checked her seat belt. It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to get it across her girth so that it was at the correct place and wasn't too tight. He looked up and smiled. "You've met most of these people, just not all at one time."

"How does your mother manage it all?"

"She's been working on it for weeks. And almost everyone brings something. It's pretty informal."

"I wish I could have come up earlier to help."

Brian looked over at his wife. "You've been busy enough with the move. And you'll have a lifetime of Thanksgivings to help." They recently had bought a large, luxurious townhouse and between her full-time job, the upcoming holidays, and her decreasing energy level from the pregnancy, Debbie had still been able to manage the extra responsibilities. Brian had been concerned about all the extra work managing the move and making it into an inviting home, and had become a bit of a nag. But Debbie had juggled it all with the same ease she handled everything. And even though he knew she was exhausted at times, she never complained. He started the car and backed out of the space. "I want you to promise me you won't over do this weekend or while you're in Baltimore." He glanced over at her. "I love you, Mrs. Belden. I want you AND Gertrude healthy."

"I love you too, Dr. Belden. I know my limitations...and I plan on being around to bug you for at least another fifty, sixty years." Debbie rubbed her belly. "You keep calling her Gertrude. I prefer Helen or Virginia or..."

"Gertrude, Helen--so long as she has auburn hair!" Brian stopped for a traffic light and slapped the steering wheel with both hands. "I am so happy that it's a girl!" The two healthcare professionals had chosen the modern option of knowing the child's sex before delivery. "Geez, Debbie. We're having a girl!" He slapped the steering wheel again.

x x x

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I'm too big to ice skate." Debbie protested as Brian stooped in front of her and laced an old pair of Diana's skates onto her feet and ankles. Mart and Diana had promised to take Katie skating over the holiday weekend but the Wheeler's lake still wasn't frozen. So they skipped the Black Friday shopping frenzy and took her to a rink in White Plains. When Brian learned that Debbie had never been ice skating, he insisted that they go along. Debbie had agreed reluctantly--very reluctantly. She'd followed figure skating competitions as a young girl and always wanted to try it herself, but she didn't want to look the fool toddling around the ice in her somewhat bloated condition.

Brian patted her knee. "Stand up and try them."

Debbie stood up on wobbly ankles. She lifted one foot and then the other as Brian held her arm. "I guess..."

"Maybe Gertrude will be a skater." Brian bent over and spoke into her navel. "Now you listen to your Daddy and you'll be the next Dorothy Hamel!" He stood and slowly led Debbie towards the ice. "I'll be right beside you and won't let you go. Just follow my lead."

Debbie toddled onto the ice, gripping Brian's arm tightly.

He placed one hand on her waist, took her hand with the other, and slowly guided her on the ice. "See, this isn't too bad, is it?" They moved slowly around the rink.
Despite her unsteadiness, Debbie found the experience almost as delightful as she'd always imagined. She giggled as they glided along slowly.

"I love you Debra Belden," Brian pulled her closer. "And I love you too, Gertrude Belden," he called down to her protruding stomach.

She turned her head up and he kissed her nose. "Helen! Maybe Virginia," she corrected. "And we both love you, Brian Belden."

"Darn. I'm getting turned on," he whispered.

x x x

The next afternoon, Brian walked Debbie out to the rental car parked in the driveway of Crabapple Farm. He opened the trunk and set her bags inside. "I'm going to miss you," he murmured. "This is the longest we've been apart in a year." He pulled her closer. "Are you sure you'll be okay? It's a lot of driving."

Debbie pulled away. "I'm only driving to Baltimore. I really want to see Maggie and my new nephew." After eighteen granddaughters and only two grandsons, Debbie's sister had provided a third grandson for their parents. With their recent move, Debbie hadn't been able to travel to Baltimore to see the latest addition to the O'Connell family and she was determined not to miss the next day's christening of the long-awaited male. Her family members also were giving her a baby shower that Wednesday, allowing her time to visit all her family and friends in Baltimore. She planned to drive the rental car to Baltimore, use it while there, and return it in Richmond on Thursday. "I want to be there, Brian. And with my mother finally accepting the baby..."

"I should go with you. At least drive you down and then I can drive on to Richmond. I can try to trade in my plane ticket."

"I'll be fine." Debbie stood back from her husband. "You don't need to spend all day today driving and then show up on a Sunday morning, the only doctor on duty, exhausted. Your flight tonight will be tiring enough. And I don't know when I'll be able to get to Baltimore again. Pretty soon I won't be able to travel and then after the baby..." She kissed his cheek. "And I'm glad you're saving your leave for when the baby comes." She kissed him lightly again and he pulled her tightly to him.

Brian molded her body to his, feeling her warmth through their heavy jackets. He had this inexplicable need to hold her and not let her leave. It made no sense. It was only for five days. He kissed her with a force and hunger he hadn't felt for some time.

"It's only until Thursday," Debbie offered.

"Too long. Too damn long. I don't like being away from you that long. What if something happens?"

"I'll never be alone. I'm staying with Maggie and I'll always be with someone. Nothing will happen." She kissed him lightly, but he demanded more, grabbing her even tighter before he finally pushed her away.

"Dammit, I'm getting...Go on, before I take you here in the driveway." He turned and walked towards the porch. When he got to the steps, he turned back around and looked at her. "Go on!"

Debbie got into the car, bewildered by his reaction. She and Brian had shared many intense moments, but he'd never crushed her like that, pushed her so hard, or spoken in such a harsh tone. He'd almost frightened her.

She started the engine and looked at her husband. He seemed so sad and alone. But she knew he wasn't alone. He had his loving, extended family and the small family they were creating together. She smiled and waved as she turned the car around. She blew a kiss and headed down the driveway.

Brian kissed his palm and blew it to his wife. He'd never done that before. Blown a kiss to his wife. Wife. How much he loved that word. How much he loved her. He watched as she turned the car onto Glen Road.

The Wednesday after Thanksgiving, 2001
Richmond, Virginia

Woman, do you love me?
Woman, if you need me then
Believe me I need you
To be my woman

Bzzzzt...

Bzzzzt...

Brian Belden rolled over and turned off the alarm clock on the bedside stand.

Bzzzzt...

Bzzztt...

Darn. It wasn't the alarm. What was it?

Bzzzzt...

Bzzztt...

It was the front door. He looked at the clock. It wasn't yet midnight.

Brian had been called to the hospital at 4:00 that morning and spent a long, full day working with interns and seeing patients. He had returned home around 8:30 p.m. and, after listening twice to a message from Debbie sharing her excitement about the baby shower and her plans to drive home the next day, he'd fallen into bed. He'd wanted to return her call, but knew she'd be at the shower for some time.

Bzzzzt...

Bzzzzt...

He pulled on a robe and hurried down the stairs, wondering who or what the heck it might be at his door at this hour.

He pulled all of his six-foot plus frame erect and opened the door. He looked up into the clear blue eyes of a young man.

"Brian Belden?"

He nodded. His mind was racing. What was this about?

"I'm sorry to bother you so late, sir. My name is Gerry Benschoff. This is Mike Sanchez."

Brian noticed the other man for the first time. He began to feel real panic.

"May we come in?" The young man forced a weak smile.

Oh God, please don't let it be...Brian grabbed the door frame to steady himself as he let the two Virginia State Troopers into his home.

Christmas Eve, 2001
Suburban Richmond, Virginia

Woman, do you love me?
Woman, if you need me then
Believe me I need you
To be my woman

Brian entered the quiet, darkened house, throwing his keys onto the counter and flipping on lights as he walked through the kitchen, barely noticing the brightly-colored wallpaper. His wife had picked it out and he'd hung it one weekend, refusing to allow her to place one foot on the stepladder to help. He threw up the switch to the dining room chandelier, thankful for the garish light it threw off. His wife had hated that chandelier and the new one they'd purchased still sat in its box in a corner, waiting for him to hang it. He was NOT going to hang it. He stumbled blindly into the entryway, past the front door, and up the stairs, turning on every light as he went through. Entering the bedroom, he refused to turn on any lights. With light, he would see the bed--the bed they'd found in an antique shop and had to have. The bed where they'd slept, cried, loved, and occasionally fought. The bed where they'd created their beloved daughter. Daughter. Gertrude. Helen. Virginia. The daughter who would never be named.

Brian went into the bathroom--the one room of the house where he didn't feel her presence. There was no explanation why, except perhaps she hadn't yet added any personal touches. Or perhaps it was because he believed he could wash her memories away as easily as he showered the grime and sweat from his body. He looked into the mirror and at the sullen young man reflected in it. He didn't like what he saw, but he had no desire to change it. He was only thirty, but looked much older. Grief does that, he thought. Ages you quickly, but not quickly enough.

Stripping the clothes from his body and allowing them to drop onto the floor, he adjusted the water temperature and stepped into the shower. They'd loved this shower. The townhouse didn't have a Jacuzzi or garden tub, but the shower was big enough for...He threw his head under the stream of water trying to rid himself of the memory. He knew he was going to have to sell the house. Just as he would have to sell the car and get rid of all her belongings. But discarding her possessions would be admitting that she wasn't coming back and he wasn't ready for that. Not yet.

Brian stood and let the water run over him until it ran cold. Shivering, he stepped out, wrapped himself in a robe, and headed into the bedroom. The blinking light on the bedside phone beckoned to him. He'd been ignoring calls, but felt compelled to check these messages. It was Christmas, after all. Sitting on the edge of the bed--the damned bed--he hit the play button.

"Brian, give me a call, Bro. Katie wants to talk to Unca By and her Daddy does too. We're at the Lynches."

Beeep.

"Brian, dear. It's Moms. Call me. Please. Dad and I love you. Call us. Please."

Beeep.

"Merry Christmas Big Brother. Daaannnn Getaway, I'm on the phone to Brian. Listen, Brian, I have to work and couldn't make it out to the Farm either, so I'm feeling kinda' lonely tonight. I sure would like to talk to you. Call me on my cell. Dan! Gimme!"

"Bri, it's Dan. Give your sister a call. She wants to talk to you."

Beeep.

Brian almost smiled. Trixie said she was lonely, but he knew Dan would take care of that. And he knew she wanted him to call on her cell phone because she was staying at Dan's. They thought no one knew, but he knew--he was still her big brother. But Dan loved her. He knew that, too.

"Merry Christmas, Brian. Thought I'd check in and see how you're doing. Aggie and I were thinking of going down to Honey's for New Years and want to get together. Give us a call."

Beeep

Brian considered calling him but decided against it. He and Jim had grown apart over the years, but still shared an unspoken bond. He knew Jim wouldn't consider traveling to Richmond over New Years except to check on him.

"Son. I know your mother left a message earlier, but you need to call us. Tonight."

Beeep

Brian stared at the phone. He knew they were worried about him. He knew they loved him. So why didn't he just call? How much would it hurt to just talk?

He placed the phone in its cradle and walked over to the dresser. After pulling on some sweats, he headed downstairs to the kitchen. He dug in the refrigerator, deciding to have some left-over roast chicken and a beer. Sitting at the counter, he munched on a chicken leg and washed it down with beer from the can. "Mmmm yum," he said aloud. "Christmas turkey and gravy."

He dropped the leg onto his paper plate. Resting his elbows on the counter, he put his forehead in his hands, wondering how he could go on like this. "DAMMIT! I can't do this!" His voice echoed in the empty house. He looked at the wall phone. Call you mother. It seemed to speak to him. Talk to your mother. Your brothers. Your sister. Your dad, whose voice is always so strong and reassuring, even now that you're a man yourself.

Slowly, almost as if in a trance, Brian walked across the room and picked up the phone. He pounded in the familiar numbers and waited. One ring. Two. Three. Four.

"You have reached Crabapple Farm. We can't come to the phone, but if you leave a message at the tone, we'll get back to you as soon as possible."

"Well, guess they didn't want to talk too badly." He looked at the wall clock, wondering where they might be. It was too early for them to be at church services. He started to sit back down at the counter, but picked up the beer and headed into the den, hoping there would be something on television to occupy his mind.

Bzzzzt...

Bzzzzt...

"Who the hell is that on Christmas Eve?" He went to entryway and stared at the front door--the same entryway where the young State Trooper had spoken words that had taken his life from him--just as that drunken driver had taken the lives of his wife and unborn daughter. That damned drunken driver.

He yanked the door open.

"Dad? Moms?"

"Brian!" His father stepped in and embraced him in the loving but firm way only a father can hold his adult son. His mother followed. She put her arms around both men.

"You shouldn't be alone tonight. You should've come home, or gone out with friends."

"I've taken too much leave. I'm working. They're all..."

"We knew you'd think that way so we decided to come here. Matt Wheeler...well thank goodness he has that jet. We've got a room so as not to put you out, but..." His mother was babbling nervously.

Brian stepped aside and let them in. "There's plenty of room for you here. But I wasn't expecting..." He looked around the house. There were no holiday decorations and not much had been touched since before Thanksgiving. He had no idea what food was in the house.

"We'll stay here or we'll go to the motel, whatever you want, but we aren't leaving you alone tonight." His father was insistent.

He hesitated. They didn't want him to be alone. But he was alone. And he...could he say the words and not lose his grip on sanity? "I AM alone. I miss her. I loved her so much. Dammit, I want her."

"I know. We know."

"She left me."

"She didn't leave you alone."

"She promised me a lifetime."

"She gave you hers."

"She's gone! She's gone! And she's not coming back! She left me alone..." Brian sobbed as his parents held him close.

"You're not alone, Brian. You'll never be alone."

DISCLAIMER: Trixie Belden® is the registered, copyrighted property of Random House Publishing, as are many of the characters in this story. I am only borrowing their use. This story is written only for entertainment and I do not intend to profit financially from it in any way.

This story is my contribution to the 2005 Holiday Story CWP. While I'm stretching the requirement that the story must take place during a holiday between November and February, I hope enough of it does to qualify. The other required elements include: Trixie's pumpkin bread, the Muzak playing in the airport, Brian's almost mislabelling gifts, Mr. Belden's commenting about Daylight Savings Time, Brian and Debbie arguing about when it's appropriate to start listening to Christmas music, Mrs. O'Connell forcing Brian to look at scrapbooks (and photo albums), Debbie removing a lipstick smudge from Brian right before meeting Mrs. Belden, Brian referring to the March Blizzard, Brian teaching Debbie to ice skate, Debbie's trying to organize a move into their new house before the holidays, and Debbie giving the book, "Where the Wild Things Are" to her niece. I'd almost forgotten to include a carry-over item, so after the entire story was completed, I went to the CWP pages looking for one. I was thrilled to find that one of the requirements in the Special Edition Three Challenge, was a co-worker named Debbie. Of course, this entire story is about a co-worker named Debbie who becomes so much more.

The inspiration for this story comes directly from Brian Belden. Over the past several months, Brian has been telling me that he needed some spice in his life and he did NOT want to wait for me to write Madeleine. I kept telling him that he would just have to wait--I was having enough trouble writing about his sister. The voice spoke louder, and louder, so one morning while a plumber was earning his Christmas bonus in my basement, I sat at my dining table and asked Brian what his story should say. By the time the plumber had left, he was several hundred dollars richer and I had an outline. A few days later, I was stuck at home alone during an ice storm, and managed to write the entire story in one (twelve-hour) sitting, only stopping for bathroom breaks. It's the first time I've allowed a character to tell me what to write and he had a lot to say, and he said it FAST!

The title of this story is the same as two songs written at different times by members of the Beatles, but, to the best of my knowledge, never recorded by the Beatles themselves. The cited lyrics are from the song "Woman", © 1966 By Paul McCartney, and recorded by Peter and Gordon. John Lennon also wrote a song titled, "Woman", © 1980. It was recorded by him as a solo artist (I believe the day he died) and was released after his death.

Debbie's name was chosen to honor my childhood friend who introduced me to Trixie Belden. We met the very first day of first grade and remained inseparable until she moved in the 7th grade.

Trooper Gerry Benschoff is named for a real Virginia State Trooper. PERRY Benschoff, was the DARE Officer at my children's elementary school and a real life hero to both of them. I will always be grateful for the wonderful example he set for them and believe he shares credit for their BOTH getting through adolescence without "experimenting", and their growing into the fine young adults they are today! Thank you Officer Benschoff!

For those of you not familar with the DC-Baltimore "local" culture, the "Boh on tap" requested by Mr. O'Connell in the bar refers to National Bohemian Beer. Although I grew up in DC when the Senators were the home town team, my dad always followed Oriole's baseball and one of my earliest memories is of hearing the ads for National Boh beer on the television and radio. (The owner of National Brewery, Jerry Hoffberger, also was the owner of the O's.) When I sent Brian to JHU in Baltimore, I knew that I would have to reference National Boh at some time--even though it's now brewed in either PA or NC, depending on the source.

Many, many thanks to Terry (Chromosnake) and KayeKL for a much needed and appreciated editing. They provided all the necessary commas, semi-colons and correct verb tenses, and made writing suggestions that SIGNIFICANTLY improved this story.